Love: Make your mind up - FML

Make your mind up

By FML! - 07/08/2011 00:27 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 770

You deserved it 6 598

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Same thing different taste

Oooooh yeah

By omgwtf - 01/06/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I found out my girlfriend had changed my ringtone to some woman moaning with pleasure continuously. I found this out in the middle of a job interview when she rang me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 592

Am I the asshole?

By Anon - 22/05/2023 22:00

Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 242

By skmusic - 09/04/2009 05:04 - Canada

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 311

You deserved it 75 175

I'll just hang out I guess

By jailbirdlove - 11/10/2010 01:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 901

You deserved it 4 326

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 690

You deserved it 4 174

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 784

You deserved it 2 897

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Spicy

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 1 798

What do you want from me?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 22:00

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 162

By lovegotmehung - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 941

You deserved it 3 905

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 763

You deserved it 89 139

Next

Top comments

kleider1 9

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:07

Dude. I think she has trust issues

ChickenInMyKitch 4

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:10

You gotta wait for that second ring brah

Comments

lisha88 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 21:11

She's crazy breakup with her please!!!

jadamsclassic 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 21:15

get out... get out now

problem25 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 21:58

lol your gf is retarded.

cheerloveyou 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:01

well answer on two then

kimboslice778 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:51

dump the crazy bitch

marco20 5

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:02

I'm sorry... that girl sounds like a lunatic! she has MAJOR issues!

magikspl 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 4:41

ydi for being with a dumb bitch, the earlier you learn to spot and get rid of the bad ones the better your life will be

alisha17 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 5:00

Guess that means aim for the second time it rings.

smileyysss 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 6:12

have you tried 2 rings then?

shiomifml2011 3

Wednesday 10 August 2011 10:18

u may call her and see on what ring she answers, then you could say the exact same thing to her...

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The Top

The Top

Today, when my new boyfriend told me he liked playing games, he meant a 60" TV with a professional gaming chair in the middle of his living room, and 48-hour gaming marathons where he totally ignores me, refuses to sleep or shower, and only has energy drinks and cheerios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 923

You deserved it 885

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 176

You deserved it 2 795

Today, some girl in the street mistook me for Richard Simmons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 313

You deserved it 5 799

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 553

You deserved it 64 387

Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 110

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 121

You deserved it 272