Love: Make your mind up - FML

Make your mind up

By FML! - 07/08/2011 00:27 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 770

You deserved it 6 598

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Same thing different taste

Oooooh yeah

By omgwtf - 01/06/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I found out my girlfriend had changed my ringtone to some woman moaning with pleasure continuously. I found this out in the middle of a job interview when she rang me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 592

Am I the asshole?

By Anon - 22/05/2023 22:00

Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 242

By skmusic - 09/04/2009 05:04 - Canada

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 311

You deserved it 75 175

I'll just hang out I guess

By jailbirdlove - 11/10/2010 01:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 901

You deserved it 4 326

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 690

You deserved it 4 174

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 784

You deserved it 2 897

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Spicy

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 1 798

What do you want from me?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 22:00

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 162

By lovegotmehung - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 941

You deserved it 3 905

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 763

You deserved it 89 139

Next

Top comments

kleider1 9

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:07

Dude. I think she has trust issues

ChickenInMyKitch 4

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:10

You gotta wait for that second ring brah

Comments

RaiEllati 2

Tuesday 9 August 2011 7:44

lol I hate how people just say leave or dump in these things >_

maddie2015 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 7:55

And you're still dating her...

cj7jeep 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 8:03

It's your fault for having so little self respect that your dating such a god aweful crazy girl ;) run while there is still time!

drizzy212 4

Tuesday 9 August 2011 8:55

Don't ******* answer the phone

beccerz 6

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:10

i think its time to break up with her

bennie226 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 12:28

Wow. She has issues...

msbubblykd 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:18

shes nuts!

foolwithdreamss 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:27

Well jeez Johnny dontcha know it's 2 rings?! Noob

lucy8248 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:31

Answer on the second ring then ?

toferdisobey 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 20:40

Gid rid of bitch already lol

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The Top

The Top

Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 775

You deserved it 16 177

Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 1 064

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 766

You deserved it 4 566

Today, I had to clean out my husband's brother's room as he is moving. The room was filled with childish toys, mould and years of dust covered everything. Behind and under every piece of furniture were earwax encrusted cotton swabs, hundreds of them. Oh yeah, he's moving in with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 153

Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 143

Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 038

You deserved it 2 605