Alcohol, Dating and Miscellaneous: Impressive!

Impressive!

By ol faithful - 03/09/2011 09:24 - Canada

Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 913

You deserved it 41 927

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Same thing different taste

By sandyhome - 11/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 794

You deserved it 6 277

Maturity level

By Clairebear - 07/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 826

Cursed

By Freddie - 25/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 143

One night in Wetherspoons

By Joe Smooth - 06/12/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried to impress a girl in a bar with a magic trick. Instead of pulling a coin from behind her ear, I accidentally flicked her glasses straight into her pint of lager. She was far from impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 555

By OMFG I LOVE MLP - 24/08/2012 21:00 - Germany - Mainz

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 969

You deserved it 3 801

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 183

By Isitreallythatbad, - 22/12/2013 05:37 - United States

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 560

You deserved it 3 655

Connaisseur

By Anonymous - 06/01/2025 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 752

By Chaznuts - 08/09/2009 06:22 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 555

You deserved it 5 205

Classic move

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 533

optimusprime0069 8

Saturday 3 September 2011 19:57

Did it taste better the second time?

Sunny_Eclipse 6

Saturday 3 September 2011 19:58

Who cares about what the date says, OP? To impress her, be yourself. But, yeah, you do sorta deserve it.

Comments

hockey199813 5

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:06

That wouldn't taste good and I know I'm being captain obvious but what ever.

Jesus_Christ69 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:36

I think you're the worst FMLer ever. I haven't seen you write 1 half-decent giggle worthy comment.

ykthechild 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 23:50

Y U NO WRITE GOOD COMMENT!!! because of ur picture #34 I was Inspired

Jesus_Christ69 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 1:58

I try my best to inspire people

lobum 12

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:10

Well, if you weren't such a pussy, that wouldn't have happened.

hellbilly205 17

Saturday 3 September 2011 21:04

I was thinking the same thing

skatergirl33 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:05

hi :3

iAmScrubs 19

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:14

Instead of throwing up, just think of it as a reverse chug.

me_the_maniak 14

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:15

Now practice to be a man for the next time you are challenged!

2ndSucks 15

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:16

That's what you get for not being able to take a joke?

Buzzy123 7

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:16

Lucky you twice the taste no calories. :)

dstivers 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:19

Light weight. I remember my first beer.....

Mysanitywins 10

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:21

I think OP got owned.

Wheredidgrungego 12

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:23

Know your limits, or don't drink at all.

xocutexofunnyxo 5

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:41

Better yet Get Yourself Together

t765234 10

Saturday 3 September 2011 20:34

Smooth

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I agree, your life sucks 734

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