Cars, Thief and Transportation: Foolproof plan

Foolproof plan

By spark - 02/08/2026 18:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 970

You deserved it 10 062

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/05/2012 17:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 604

You deserved it 2 240

By Noname - 13/03/2009 03:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 793

You deserved it 54 259

By Unhappymothersday - 17/05/2012 20:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 540

You deserved it 2 180

Stop! Thief!

By kellthryn - 17/03/2020 23:00

Today, during my work shift, my car got stolen and I had to walk home on the rain. While I was walking home, my stolen car drove by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 057

You deserved it 246

By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 17:20 - United States - Tacoma

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 125

You deserved it 3 438

By firebombtimEFUCKERS - 29/09/2012 16:32 - United States

Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 481

You deserved it 1 732

By stolen-car - 26/06/2012 02:55 - United States - Columbia

Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 712

You deserved it 2 659

By stop thief - 26/06/2014 15:11 - United States - Aurora

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 053

You deserved it 6 101

By lance - 12/03/2010 12:10 - Canada

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 325

You deserved it 2 495

Targeted

By vikingunicorn - 03/02/2011 12:52 - Canada

Today, I parked three streets away despite the ungodly cold. I did this because in the past, on my street, I have had my car keyed, my tires slashed, and my side view mirror ripped off. When I went back out to my car, I found that someone had broken off my windshield wipers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 224

You deserved it 3 494

Brooke5702 13

Wednesday 27 August 2014 23:45

Swiper no swiping Swiper be wiping

xR3cKl3sSx 12

Wednesday 27 August 2014 23:45

I guess you can say you were literally tired of them stealing your windshield wipers.

Comments

joemud 13

Thursday 28 August 2014 13:07

Go-pro on the dash!

CutiePatootie85 11

Thursday 28 August 2014 15:52

Who steals Winshield wipers???

lazyslumber 18

Thursday 28 August 2014 20:31

Hide again. Hide and hide till you succeed

wellthenpeople 5

Friday 29 August 2014 7:47

Who steals those

_purepxrcelain_ 6

Friday 29 August 2014 9:25

who is that desperate or pissed off at you to steal your wipers ?

manimitsu 6

Sunday 31 August 2014 19:55

where do you live? so I can know to never visit.

beefsteak07 12

Monday 1 September 2014 8:37

*that awkward moment when you accidentally hit the "you deserve" it button*

Kaoticwolf 17

Tuesday 29 March 2016 16:09

you tried

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The Top

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 528

You deserved it 5 648

Today, it was my Sweet 16. My cousin threw a tantrum in the middle of it. She popped balloons, threw chairs around, and threw my gifts off the balcony. Reason being, she turned 16 last year and didn’t get a party. She perhaps forgot that last year we were in a pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 163

Today, I'm thoroughly convinced that my ex is lying about being in new relationships so she can burrow her way into my head/get my attention. Only problem is, we're in the same social circle, and if I call her on it, I'll look like a jealous idiot and my friends won't back me up. I just want these games to end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 561

Today, I went to donate some of my old underwear that I never wear and were in too nice a condition to throw in a dumpster. I was given the runaround by two different people who had no clue where the clothes donation box was, until I gave up and finally found it in the opposite direction. That took me an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 370

Today, I bought an expensive air purifier to combat potential wildfire smoke. The next day, a freak flood knocked out my power. I sat in the dark, breathing in ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 82

Today, I learned that my kids refer to my much older fiancé as my “Emotional support corpse.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 424

Foolproof plan

Same thing different taste

Stop! Thief!

Targeted

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