Love

By killmenow - 19/02/2009 21:52 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 348

You deserved it 3 505

By VacationTSA - 19/02/2009 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in a girl's bed, who I've had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 882

You deserved it 4 216

By Noname - 19/02/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me from a payphone because he lost his phone at the airport. When I texted his phone to get a response from someone who stole it [because it was still on whenever I called], I received a message back saying, "Love the pics. Send more ;]" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 359

You deserved it 8 691

No

By grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 127

You deserved it 5 894

By littelace - 19/02/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 984

You deserved it 24 497

By baddormgirl - 19/02/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, I walked through my college dorm and a freshman was watching some overly dramatic show on her laptop. I smiled and asked if it was a new episode of 'Gossip Girl.' She was on a video chat with her boyfriend. They were about to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 354

You deserved it 47 786

By Fack. - 19/02/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 019

You deserved it 8 667

By authentic - 18/02/2009 23:20 - United States

Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 885

You deserved it 17 447

Better Call Small

By not-so-young-shortie - 18/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He's 6'2 and I'm 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 972

You deserved it 5 106

By noname - 18/02/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 330

You deserved it 6 061

By Sandra - 18/02/2009 14:15 - Ireland

Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 784

You deserved it 20 447

Mostly OK

By dxl - 18/02/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you OK? You seemed depressed earlier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 313

You deserved it 5 554

By nadalada - 18/02/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 554

You deserved it 14 001

By KC - 17/02/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, the priest was handing out red roses after church. The woman ahead of me asked for a rose. The priest said, "Sorry, we are only giving them out to single women since they didn't get any for Valentine's Day." Then he hands one to me. This was the first time I have been to that church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 456

You deserved it 4 407

By bertthelamb - 17/02/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, I spent $20 on a spray tan, $30 to have my make up done, and $50 on a pretty new dress all for a special date with my boyfriend. It turns out I spent $100 just to get dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 073

You deserved it 8 495

Missed you too

By ooook - 16/02/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I'd finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looked at me and asked, "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 294

You deserved it 11 606

By Noname - 16/02/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 429

You deserved it 3 666

By blah - 15/02/2009 23:57 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 903

You deserved it 3 827

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 967

You deserved it 51 004

Moral support

By too bad so sad - 15/02/2009 11:51 - United States

Today, as I sat on my couch heartbroken from a very recent breakup, my mother walked up to me and in a very comforting voice said, "Maybe he left you for someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 627

You deserved it 2 482

By cjk004 - 15/02/2009 11:35 - United States

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 786

You deserved it 6 637

By lamesauce - 15/02/2009 10:32 - Canada

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 887

You deserved it 3 062

By NoValentine - 14/02/2009 22:49 - United States

Today, I realized the reason I was asked to babysit 3 weeks ago for Feb 14 was because the old married couple with kids safely assumed that I wouldn't have a Valentine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 618

You deserved it 3 129

By semi-depressed - 14/02/2009 17:35 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 478

You deserved it 4 030

By Noname - 14/02/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 279

You deserved it 4 238

By Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 009

You deserved it 4 246

By shinoza - 13/02/2009 15:02 - Malaysia

Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 589

You deserved it 8 394

By fmlfmboyfriendah - 13/02/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 935

You deserved it 19 911

By Tamps - 13/02/2009 09:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my girlfriend a new TV as a 10th anniversary present. She gave me a torch on a keyring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 103

You deserved it 6 908

Lonesome

By AwesomePGnarles - 13/02/2009 08:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 712

You deserved it 44 515

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Health Awkward Growing old Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Cheating Parents Love Break-ups Weird Annoying Summer Gross Smells Work Kids Scams Money Weddings Bodyshaming Friends My ex Mysterious AITA Social Media Family Teenagers Capitalism Food

The Top

Today, my boss finally checked the presentation I have been working on for three weeks. She called me into her office, and told me everything was dreadful, and requested me to start from scratch. It's due in half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 645

You deserved it 1 559

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 397

You deserved it 6 958

Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 675

You deserved it 8 234

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 422

You deserved it 5 877

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 151

You deserved it 2 731

Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 414

You deserved it 3 330