Love

Crazy ex

By Anonymous - 30/06/2023 10:00

Today, my girlfriend came up to me to ask me to have access to my Google account, just so she could delete all my photos then break up with me, saying I was in the wrong. She thought it was disrespectful for me to have a life outside of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 136

I always feel like somebody's watching me

By Chris - 20/11/2012 05:03 - United States - Lakewood

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to come pick up her things, and while I waited I took a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 791

You deserved it 3 529

Sounds like a sitcom

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 16:00

Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 1 759

By hatemyluck - 10/09/2012 02:12 - United States - Bronx

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 557

You deserved it 3 280

Brain melt

By Anonymous - 03/03/2010 02:37 - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 120

You deserved it 29 723

By Anonymous - 17/04/2015 20:43 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 210

You deserved it 4 015

By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 05:46 - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 140

You deserved it 28 821

By Snorlax - 13/04/2013 04:25 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 723

You deserved it 14 716

By pandapantsMD - 18/04/2015 03:12 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 993

You deserved it 2 672

Creep

By fu2then - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He said, "Yeah well, you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 396

You deserved it 4 260

By un_christmas - 25/12/2012 06:41 - Malaysia - Petaling Jaya

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 256

You deserved it 4 267

By Ecolo-girl - 11/03/2016 06:22 - France - Quint

Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 072

You deserved it 2 049

By idontgetit - 12/06/2012 23:39 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 012

You deserved it 30 632

By alissa_roar - 18/04/2011 17:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me I was being too obsessive. This is the guy who has gone through my phone two separate times and deleted all of my male contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 815

You deserved it 8 515

Empty gesture

By Loved - 25/05/2019 16:15

Today, my boyfriend bought me an engagement ring. It turned out to be the wrong size and we had to return it, since the store said it couldn't be re-sized. As we headed home, I felt guilty, so I turned to him and apologized. His response? "It's OK honey, I didn't really want to marry you that much anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 652

You deserved it 217

Running commentary

By The Gabriel - 24/04/2022 10:00

Today, I was making out with some girl at a party and noticed that she wasn't very good at it. I tried to say, "You kiss like a 16 year-old doing it for the first time" but ended up saying, "You kiss like a 16 year-old." Upon saying that, a dozen people turned and looked at me, giving weird looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 1 635

The worst excuse

By Anonymous - 29/04/2025 00:00 - South Africa

Today, after my boyfriend broke things off saying he couldn't handle being in a relationship after the death of his brother, I found out that he's back on Tinder not even three weeks after the break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 117

Breaking news

By blaise - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 169 419

You deserved it 13 511

Keep your enemies closer

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 01:58 - Canada - Markham

Today, the night before an exam, I found out my boyfriend of one and a half years was cheating on me with a girl who has the same name as me. Not only that, I ended up consoling her for hours as she cried over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 234

By Jamie - 11/11/2018 12:00 - United States

Today, to get back at me for our recent breakup, my ex put a "9/11 was an inside job!" bumper sticker on my car. I work for the government in New York City, and I just got a text saying that my manager wants to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 460

You deserved it 285

For me?

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend gave me a very thoughtful gift: A pair of woolen socks, hand-knitted by his mom. They were a size 43. Yes, that’s his size. I wear a 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 114

Lower your expectations

By franky - 25/03/2013 21:45 - Germany - Brunswick

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out, with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming ,"Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 147

You deserved it 7 479

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 07:25 - United States - Springfield

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 426

You deserved it 3 853

Coming and going

By Anonymous - 10/07/2023 06:00 - Pakistan

Today, my fiance of 6 years, who was estranged for 10 months during which time our wedding was naturally called off, came back, and after much convincing got a second chance. Within two weeks of taking it slow, he asked if I had been faithful after he'd abandoned me. A "yes" wasn't enough. He's disappeared again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 311

By singleandheartbroken - 17/08/2009 12:04 - Australia

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 280

You deserved it 3 548

ryan_j009 tells us more.

ryan_j009 0

Monday 24 August 2009 12:17

ok everyone, im the OP, hear me out. 1. "..i've been treating her extremely well.." the reason why I said that was not because I'm a jackass, it was so you all knew that I didnt disrespect her or lie to her or anything, in case you would accuse me of being a shitty boyfriend. I wasn't at all. I used to surprise her with flowers occasionally, which I'd never done before with any other woman. (which does not mean i was a shitty boyfriend to my other girlfriends.. it just means i tried extra hard with this girl.) 2. all of you have been saying "well at least you didnt get to ask." Ok, yeah, I didn't say the words "will you marry me", but I had the ring in my hand and was about to get on one knee.. but before I could she stopped me.. so I'm guessing she realized that I was going to pop the question. 3. pimpin88 - once again, you have mistaken me for someone I am not. I was not clingy, I was just telling the world of FML that i really *DID* care about her.. I mean 5 years for god's sake.. sorry, i'm still bitter.. it's weird that you say that because in our relationship she always seemed to be interested in only me.. even in the last week that we were together it was all totally fine. I have no idea what happened. Nothing changed, at least I dont think...

Overdoing it

By elsaza - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a date with my new boyfriend. I acted very flirty and laughed very loudly to show him how funny he was. I laughed so loudly that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 431

You deserved it 22 999

The GOP approves

By DianneG - 01/02/2023 02:00

Today, my 36 year-old ex-husband is engaged to my 18 year-old little sister. She’s graduating from high school in May of this year. Our divorce was finalized 3 months ago. My life should be a reality drama show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 134

By 43vera10n3 - 19/09/2018 08:58 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I found out that my best friend, the love of my life, is no longer engaged. He's now married. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 351

You deserved it 721

raven_of_azarath tells us more.

raven_of_azarath 34

Tuesday 18 September 2018 10:00

This actually happened a few months ago, and I was more upset that I wasn’t invited cuz my roommate I was good friends with had also just gotten married but didn’t invite me, despite me having been part of the proposal, and I found out that I wouldn’t be able to afford to travel to my brother’s future wedding that I have been invited to. I am moved on now, and while he will always hold a special place in my heart, I’m in a fully committed relationship now that I can see leading to marriage one day.

By Anonymous - 02/08/2014 04:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend interrupted my proposal to take a selfie with the ice cream I had just bought her. She then said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 193

You deserved it 6 475

By Crumpet - 25/06/2010 07:08 - Canada

Today, I realized that when my boyfriend said, "I'll love you forever" what he really meant was, "I'll love you until I meet your significantly more attractive sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 054

You deserved it 5 302

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Keywords

Embarrassing Health Gross Poopoo peepee Love Medication Mental health Friends Birthday Mysterious Miscellaneous Weird Ghosting Haircut Money Awkward Painful My ex Sex Art Cute Surprise Work Roommate Fire Neighbours Noise Games Weddings Suspicious

The Top

The Top

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 181

You deserved it 1 639

Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 477

You deserved it 4 738

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 868

You deserved it 4 690

Today, I remembered that I chose my career of the last decade because, unlike my job in the dying newspaper industry, "concerts aren’t going anywhere." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 190

Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 163

Today, I realised that American political BS is even in countries as far away as my own when I drove past a "Trump won" sign on my way home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 218