By poorgary - 18/12/2008 11:46 - France Today, it's my birthday. It's 6.30 pm. I'm still the only person aware of what day it is. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 845 You deserved it 2 727 Share Tweet Share
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML I agree, your life sucks 79 557 You deserved it 17 538
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 801 You deserved it 130 384
Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were, "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 074 You deserved it 4 223
Today, several coworkers think the operation scar on my wrist is really a failed suicide attempt, because I study design and apparently, "Artists are suicidal, right?" FML I agree, your life sucks 25 404 You deserved it 1 735
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 261 You deserved it 4 104
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 269 You deserved it 675
Today, I was scrolling through Instagram when I got a new follow suggestion. I checked her feed, and found out it was my ex-fiancé’s newest fiancée. And he'd proposed to her using an $185 ring I'd bought myself for my birthday last year. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 914 You deserved it 180
Today, like every other day, if you are sick before or during work, you immediately get sent to get COVID tested. I don’t think my sickening pregnancy hormones need COVID testing, just fresh air away from my coworker who has sulfur running through his ass. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 132 You deserved it 142