Birthday

Favorite

By ImmaLoser - 05/10/2025 15:00

Today, the girl I have a crush on posted on her Instagram story: “Best present ever from the most amazing guy ever!” One of my friends gave her the same item I got her for her birthday last month. When I gave it to her, she nonchalantly said, “Cool, thanks.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 127

Friends

By Anonymous - 17/02/2010 07:39 - United States

Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 685

You deserved it 2 632

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 02:01 - United States - Steele

Today, I took a day off from work for a doctor's appointment. It ended up taking a lot longer than I expected, because while I was on my way, my mom called to inform me that my great aunt passed away this morning. As a result, I showed up extremely late and was berated. And the worst part? It's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 177

Confused

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Niles

Today, my mother had to ask me when my birthday was, because she gets it confused with the day she bought our old car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 251

You deserved it 1 751

Oh look, a big red flag!

By fmlmvlijthen - 29/09/2024 16:00 - Netherlands

Today, the girl I've been seeing for two months and with whom I'm in love with, asked me, whilst she's on holiday celebrating her birthday, whether I would pay for a male escort for her as a birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 158

Happy nothing, then

By amy - 30/06/2018 19:00

Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 666

You deserved it 372

Happy ******* birthday

By Anonymous - 03/09/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, on my birthday, I worked overtime because I haven’t celebrated my birthday in years. I got out of work and found a bunch of hate filled voicemails from my mom about missing my surprise party. She has never thrown me a party in my life; in fact I haven’t spoken to my mom in 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 75

Grateful

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 07:59

Today, it was sister’s birthday. I decided to give her money instead of a present, because I couldn’t come up with a gift idea. When she opened the envelope and took the $100 out, she looked at me and asked me if this was the best I could’ve done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 210

I'm surprised

By Anonymous - 29/02/2024 20:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his house. Apparently, I ruined the surprise party he'd planned for me, and now he’s upset with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 128

Partied out

By kp. - 31/08/2010 12:46 - Australia

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 205

You deserved it 4 513

I can't eat these

By brokedude - 14/03/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, I got my birthday present from my dad. Instead of buying me things I told him I needed, he bought me collectible coins. I’m already stretched thin on my budget, and very stressed out. Looks like I’m living off Ramen and Oatmeal for the next 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 190

Damp squib

By Sorry Phil - 07/08/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, I was throwing a surprise birthday party for my friend. As we all hid in the dark waiting for him to arrive, I unexpectedly sneezed so loudly that I scared everyone, and they jumped out before he had even finished unlocking the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 149

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 04:01

Today, for my birthday, I got a hotel room for me and my boyfriend. He decided that spending time with a female friend was more important than spending time with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 112

Get out there

By imnotTHATlonely - 18/05/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, two of my cousins sat me down and said they wanted to give me an early birthday present. With straight faces, they looked at me and said: "We signed you up for eHarmony, and paid for 12 months." Not only do my cousins think I need help finding a boyfriend, but they think it'll take a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 372

You deserved it 5 817

I bet you're fun at parties

By Cara - 02/05/2021 23:01

Today, I was at a friend’s birthday party. I slipped and fell onto the table of presents, knocking each one of them over, pulling a muscle in the process. My friend bitched me out for not being careful and “ruining” his presents. I got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 290

Relevant

By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 04:09 - United States - Redlands

Today, it was my birthday. It was also the only day my family wanted to hold the graveside funeral for my grandmother, who passed last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 160

You deserved it 2 699

Whoops

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 01:29 - United States

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friends and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 696

You deserved it 4 119

Loner

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 16:00 - New Zealand

Today, my dog has a better social life than I do, since he's been invited to more doggy birthday parties than I've been invited to regular parties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 157

So thoughful

By Surprised - 05/02/2023 12:00

Today, it’s my birthday. My husband gave me quite the surprise. He shouldn’t have. He surprised me by letting me walking in on him doing my sister doggy-style on our bed. Happy Birthday! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 171

Drive

By Anonymous - 20/11/2021 22:59 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Two of my best friends forgot it, and so did my grandparents. All of my friends were busy, so I spent it alone in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 140

A day to remember

By Sam - 20/09/2025 09:00

Today, it's my birthday. My grandmother died yesterday. We were close and she basically raised me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 47

Be happy!

By happybirthday2me - 19/06/2019 20:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, it's my 25th birthday, I celebrated it by cooking my favourite meal for my parents and sister, while they watched TV and house-hunted for my sister. I have yet to hear a happy birthday, receive a card, a present or a phone call. Oh, and my parents are on a diet, so they complained my cooking wasn’t "on their plan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 177

You deserved it 195

Le epic bacon

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 276

You deserved it 50 725

MVP

By birthday girl - 27/10/2012 00:14 - Australia

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 261

You deserved it 2 172

Pulled a sneaky on you

By blank sheep at work - 01/03/2022 18:00 - United States - Richland

Today, I found out that my work threw me a birthday party alongside my coworker’s birthday. Said coworker spread a rumor, telling everyone that I wanted each person to buy me flowers and cake. Everyone thought that I was a weirdo for asking for those things from them. I wasn't at work today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 101

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 08:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, it's my birthday. My boss's birthday is 5 days away. Instead of wishing me happy birthday, the staff decided to surprise my boss with an early gift. We also had to take a picture of him with everyone. I work at another branch alone, and had to post the picture to social media. Happy Birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 114

Oh, by the way…

By PaulieD - 19/10/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I received a "Happy Birthday" text from my ex. I thought maybe she missed me, but when I replied with a polite, "Thank you," they responded with "Sorry, wrong person. However, fuck you." Ouch. Happy birthday to me, indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 193

Gimme a break

By Anonymous - 19/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, it's been two years since my dad died on my birthday. Last year I was able to be out of the US on the day thanks to rewards points, because I don't want to be around my normal boring routine the day of. This year I could have made it if my car's repair cost less than $600. Turns out it's going to cost $1000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 105

Best of luck

By Carson - 18/04/2026 03:00 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I got an email from my ex after he ghosted me for 5 months with no specific cause. He told me he had been seeing someone else for 3 of the months he had ghosted me for. He ended up changing his number and everything. What a lovely way to spend your birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 67

Not the expected outcome

By Emm - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised, I punched my mom in the face when she screamed, "SURPRISE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 135

You deserved it 21 020

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Cheating Babies Love Surprise Health Gross Poopoo peepee Weird Awkward Transportation Facebook Paranoia Jealousy Embarrassing Cute Sexism Painful Birthday Insects Miscellaneous Vacation Food Television TV shows Money Work Bosses Public freakouts Cops Fight

The Top

Today, one of my good friends confided in me about the affair she is having with our boss. She'd been sleeping with him for three months and told me they were in love, but it had to be kept quiet due to our company's very strict anti-fraternization policy. I've also been secretly seeing him all year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 417

You deserved it 23 983

Today, my husband and I were are fighting for custody of MY two dogs. Then I found out in court that a year into our marriage, he ran one of them over with his car and then had to get a new matching one, and didn’t tell me. He said, “I paid for it so I should keep it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 105

Random

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 616

You deserved it 2 540

Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 925

You deserved it 4 954

Today, I got fired from my job as a babysitter because the movie I showed the kids was "too violent and gave them nightmares." What movie was it? Mary Poppins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 100

Today, I introduced my coworker to my friend's boyfriend. When I mentioned his name, she started crying. Apparently he has the same first name as her twin brother, who died shortly after birth, so that name has become a bit of a sore spot for her. I didn't even know she had a twin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 103

Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 87

Today, when my date realised he wasn’t getting sex, even though it was the mythical third date when sex is supposedly guaranteed, he asked for the bill while I was still halfway through my main course, paid his share to the penny, and left. He'd driven me there, so I had to get a bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 221