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MLGreco - 14/10/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

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kemando - 06/10/2011 10:20 - Canada

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

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kemando

kemando 22

Sunday 20 November 2011 8:13

Damn straight. His name's rascal.

CheeseMonsters - 24/01/2010 12:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

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mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

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asadwa - 05/05/2011 05:38

Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML

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