joyca_

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Joyca_'s favorite FMLs

By carnivore - 22/09/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

agreeclassic 68 657

vote type 1 5 913

By imafunguy - 05/10/2012 00:28 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

agreeclassic 32 951

vote type 1 3 094

By Anonymous - 04/10/2012 18:10 - United States - Omaha

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

agreeclassic 30 351

vote type 1 2 378

Dat ass

By Chamorru - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I have so much ass acne that it hurts to sit. FML

agreeclassic 32 952

vote type 1 6 393

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 08:24 - United States

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in my weekly journal for college, my professor suggested in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 22 928

vote type 1 6 739