Anonymous - 12/11/2018 12:00 Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML 3 436 510
amm - 12/11/2018 13:30 Today, my boyfriend started tickling me relentlessly. I am extremely ticklish and accidentally kicked him in the shin whilst squirming. He’s now trying to get me arrested for assault. FML 3 475 250
Lesbian and proud, nana - 12/11/2018 14:00 Today, my nana turned up at my flat for a visit, barged in without knocking, and found me having sex with both of my girlfriends. The vicious religious lecture that followed would have stripped the tramp stamp off a whore. She then rampaged through our bedroom and binned all our sex toys. FML 4 208 1 181
sicko - 07/11/2018 18:30 - Egypt Today, while my 8-year-old was at school, I got a call saying that he shat and peed himself and then attacked a girl with his shit. FML 3 289 367
herdopera - 29/10/2018 17:30 Today, my parents announced they are adding a sister-wife to our very conservative Christian family. FML 3 039 238