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jenni6488 - 22/02/2012 07:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

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catlady - 09/01/2012 16:56 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML

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blegh - 27/12/2011 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

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Colton - 20/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

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