blueeyedkoala

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Blueeyedkoala's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 12/09/2012 07:00 - United States - Valencia

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

agreeclassic 52 609

vote type 1 4 565

By m - 22/08/2012 01:59 - United States - Stamford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML

agreeclassic 39 041

vote type 1 5 893

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 09:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

agreeclassic 24 166

vote type 1 2 375

Who dis? New phone

By Sexting - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon. FML

agreeclassic 35 763

vote type 1 9 375

By jenA - 21/08/2012 13:04 - United States - Russellville

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

agreeclassic 26 875

vote type 1 3 002