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MurderMelons

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Sydjylland
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Wednesday 30 April 1997

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Murdermelons

Murdermelons

'Harry Potter' Noob Realizes He's Five Books Into Erotic Fan Fiction

Nina - 14/07/2017 20:00 - France - Paris

Ever feel like your whole life's been a lie? Like when you found out that Santa wasn’t real or that the praying emoji is actually a high five emoji...or that Harry Potter doesn’t actually know how to transform into a giant flying lion? This dude knows what I'm talking about.

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Jota - 23/10/2017 19:00

Today, I was doing a job interview on Skype when my roommate decided to reboot the wireless router because "the internet was too slow". The interviewer didn't bother calling again. FML

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VacationAllIEverWanted - 08/04/2017 04:00

Today, my friend announced that she and her boyfriend were going to be taking a trip at the same time she and I had planned a trip. We had been planning this since January and I already got the week off work. I confronted her and she just said, "Oh. Maybe next year." FML

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SwingingGallows - 15/07/2016 15:43

Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML

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Congrats!

Congrats? - - United States - Charleston

Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML

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