fantasydragon

727

103

Texas, United States
33
Thursday 09 April 1992

Fantasydragon

I wish I could explain myself but words escape me.

Fantasydragon -

Fantasydragon

lovers5201

kayleighbr...

JuneMason

Fantasydragon

um... what the fuck, miss? - 02/08/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

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IbetIgotAIDS - 12/09/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

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Anonymous - 17/09/2010 06:57 - Australia

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

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dblac74

dblac74 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 0:49

Hey guys, im the OP lol. To clarify: Insanely hot chick next to me haha. Also I had a button up shirt, and initialy it was small enough not to matter, but the effin thing didnt stop growing haha. And for those who suggested it: No. Didnt get laid. Got a nickname at work though, "Jack in the box". ...once more for the record, FML.

wheresthelove - 30/12/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML

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a_B_c_D_e_F_g - 27/06/2009 14:29 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

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