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Nice of you

Anonymous - 30/07/2010 04:26 - United States

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

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You can't say anything these days

Ashley Marshburn - - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter walked into my home office and said, "Fuck you!" Then she ran to my husband and said, "Did I say it right?" FML

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Anonymous - 04/10/2010 04:04 - United States

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

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Skin deep

EffinAhole - 03/10/2010 04:27 - France

Today, to spice things up a bit, my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner, so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

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Leaking

noname - 22/09/2010 05:37 - Canada

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriend's shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

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