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Tootsy_Roll_Pop - 23/05/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

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Dobby123 - 08/11/2009 20:44 - Mexico

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

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Dobby123

Dobby123 0

Monday 9 November 2009 2:51

For those who don't get it, beside my desk is a table a little bit lower than the desk. When my elbow hit that, it stopped, but my head kept on going and technically my face hit my fist, although my fist also hit my face. Sorry couldn't put that in the story, we can only write 300 characters, so yeah. I still have no idea how I could've hit my face so hard I got a mark :(

Ouch!

P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

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treegirl - 26/07/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

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megxox - 16/07/2009 07:26 - Canada

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML

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meg_xox

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Thursday 16 July 2009 19:33

So this is my FML (and I'm pretty overjoyed that it actually got accepted), but to everyone who is talking about the pipes...this is a house we're renting and we didn't know that the pipes were OLD (not cheap). And our landlord never fixed them because it would cost about $17,000 to redo everything. So we had to deal with it. And we found this out AFTER the basement was flooded. So while I appreciate your attempt to insult me, didn't really work =)