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Kfeaaa - 24/02/2009 02:31 - United States

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML

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Anonymous - 16/03/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

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iVaughtTV - 28/02/2012 22:44 - United States

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

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LonerCow - 20/01/2012 15:15 - United States

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

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Anonymous - 19/01/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

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