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lovers5201

BettyTimmo...

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Little Red Corvette

ferrin10 - - United States

Today, I was mowing lawns for my summer job. I noticed next to me a shiny new Corvette being washed by the owner. I gave a friendly wave, just as I heard a big clank as the mower blade shot a rock into the side of the car. FML

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Oh, hai Mark!

hi Mum - 11/12/2013 19:59 - United States - North Charleston

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

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NotTellingYouMyName - 28/11/2013 06:26 - United States - South Salem

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

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Just a prank, again

momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

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Good boys always win

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt bad that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

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