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How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 27/12/2025 15:00

Today, I accidentally liked a coworker’s old social media photo while scrolling at 2 a.m. Panicking, I unliked it immediately, knowing full well notifications exist. The next morning, they casually asked if I was “up late.” I considered quitting my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 379

Eeeeeek!

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 22:00

Today, I tried to sneak a yawn during a quiet meeting. Instead, I made a squeaking noise that sounded like a dying mouse. The meeting ground to a halt. Someone asked if I was OK. I was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 147

Steamy pile of mess

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 09:00

Today, I put leftovers in the microwave and pressed what I thought was “1:00.” It was actually “10:00.” I got distracted, then realized at minute eight when the smell changed from “warm food” to “bad science experiment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 310

Local attraction

By Jefferson - 27/01/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was jogging through the park and in my enthusiasm I thought I’d be able to jump over a bench in my stride. I tripped mid-jump, landed face-first in the grass, and scared a group of schoolkids who were on a tour of the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 511

Past glory

By Olivia - 09/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, I attended my high school reunion and was feeling good about the gym progress I’d made. Looking fabulous, I was ready to relive my glory days when I got into a conversation with someone I didn’t recognize. He had to remind me that we were in the same chemistry class for two years. I had no idea who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 423

Team building

By Anonymous - 30/03/2025 09:00 - Belgium - Merendree

Today, it was my last day at my current job after a year and a half and the end of my contract. I brought snacks and a gift for the office. Nobody even bothered to come say goodbye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 108

Carplayed out

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I couldn’t find my phone as I left work, but knew it was on me since CarPlay connected. Later, the music cut out speeding up onto the freeway. I then recalled placing it on the roof as I loaded up the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 508

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 17/04/2025 06:00 - Australia

Today, I tried to sneak home from work 15 minutes early. I kept Teams open on my phone to remain “active”, but in doing so, accidentally group-video-called my whole team while walking out at 4:45pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 680

Undisclosed annoyance

By Hdbelle - 12/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I waited on hold with an undisclosed government office for nearly two and a half hours, sitting through 45 minutes of Terms and Conditions, only for the clerk to finally answer, say “Hello” once, and then hang up on me before I could even respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 91

Urbex is risky stuff

By Curiosity nearly killed me - 18/07/2025 12:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I was riding my bike when I passed a derelict house that recently burned. Curious, I dismounted and went inside. I stepped on a nail, and while I was staggering in agony, I hit a weak spot in the floor and broke my other leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 769

Mucky

By Anonymous - 30/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I made a protein shake at the gym. I somehow didn't screw the lid on tight enough, so when I took one huge gulp, the shake exploded all over my face, shirt, and the gym mirror. Now I look like I lost a fight with a chocolate milkshake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 370

Lactose intolerant

By ClintBEASTw00d - 19/08/2025 03:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, at the gym, I attempted to deadlift after binge eating ice cream last night. I need new underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 534

Soap opera

By Anonymous - 26/08/2025 23:00 - Australia

Today, the water cut out while I was showering, covered in soap and shampoo. I had to rinse with freezing cold drinking water from the fridge. As soon as I'd dried off, the water supply got restored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 74

Thanks

By Anonymous - 30/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to be nice to a cute girl at the café by holding the door open for her. I smiled, leaned on the door frame, and poured my entire cup of coffee down my leg. She still said thanks before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 356

Fitness goals

By Anonymous - 07/09/2025 16:00 - United States - Warren

Today, under advice from my doctor that I should increase the intensity of my exercises in order to lose weight, I decided to increase the resistance level of the exercise bike I typically use by one, as I could do the previous level easily. My legs got sore after 5 minutes and then I got very sick, so I had to go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 114

Keep your chill

By Anonymous - 09/09/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was at the self-checkout scanning groceries quickly. I swiped an item so aggressively that it flew out of my hand, hit another customer’s basket, and knocked over a display of onions. I pretended it wasn’t me, but the onions gave me away by rolling directly to my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 444

Doggy dog world

By No way, dog - 01/10/2025 00:00

Today, I bent down to pick up my dog’s mangled tennis ball at the park. At the exact same moment, someone’s Great Dane ran full speed into me from behind, knocking me face-first into the mud. My dog then ran off with another family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 90

Hair today, gone tomorrow

By Frankie - 17/10/2025 00:00

Today, I unwittingly told the barber, “Do whatever you think looks best.” He got creative. Forty-five minutes later, I walked out with a haircut that made me look like a backup dancer in a 1990s boy band. My girlfriend said, “You're going to have to wear a beanie if you want to walk around with me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 445

HSR FML

By ZelWinters1981 - 04/11/2025 12:00

Today, I applied for the health and safety representative role at work as an add-on to my role. I convinced a co-worker to put his name down along with mine so I wasn't the only one. He didn't want it so much, and it went to a vote… which I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 413

Welcome back!

By Sorry... - 09/11/2025 20:00

Today, my husband was coming back after three weeks away for work. I was ready to surprise him when he walked in, but the cat took a foul shit in the litter box and the smell stressed me out so much that the first thing he heard was, "Clean the cat box!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 537

Babe

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 09:00

Today, after I had third date sex with a guy I really like, he ended up sleeping over. This morning we woke up, showered together, had breakfast, and he admitted to me he couldn’t remember my name because he currently has four women on the go and forgot which one I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 129

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 03:00

Today, I set an out-of-office auto-reply for my work email saying, “Currently out of the office, pretending to care somewhere else.” I forgot to turn it off. My boss emailed me three times before I noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 528

Unilateral decision

By Why - 16/11/2025 22:00

Today, my husband enrolled our daughter for a dance event, even though I was against it. I told him before he enrolled that I couldn't take her to practice or the event in this cold, as I can't drive while he's driving our car. He went for a trip with his friends, so guess who's standing in the cold outside dance practice… FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 102

Confuddled

By Anonymous - 25/11/2025 20:00

Today, I trusted my husband to take the kids to the park by himself 600 yards from the house so I could get some housework done. He managed to lose one bicycle, three wellies, a glove, and his wallet. I sent him back. It’s been two hours and he’s only found his emptied wallet and one welly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 87

Mixology

By Anonymous - 01/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to act confident at a work mixer by telling a funny story. Halfway through, I gestured too wildly and knocked an entire bowl of pretzels off the table. Everyone watched them scatter across the floor like confetti. I just kept talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 342

I ate being proved right

By Anonymous - 06/12/2025 12:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years cheated on me with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 80

Bad start, bad end

By Sarah - 02/01/2026 00:00

Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 63

Brave

By Veronica - 25/01/2025 12:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I showed my new haircut to my friends. One of them said, "Wow, it’s brave to try something different." I didn’t realize that "brave" was code for "bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 128

Hang in there

By Ethan - 29/01/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I leaned back in my chair during a meeting to appear (and feel) more relaxed. Instead, the chair tipped over, and I went down like a tree in slow motion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 464

Sweetie

By Anonymous - 25/02/2025 05:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my youngest daughter was going through separation anxiety when I dropped her off at school. After ten minutes of me comforting her, the teacher said, "C'mon, you have to let Nan go now so you can join in with the class." Ummm, I'm her mum, not her grandparent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 126

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The Top

Today, I was walking to my room. My friend's dog, who has always seemed to hate me for no reason, let out the loudest bark he could muster the moment he saw me. Not only did he scare the absolute fuck out of me, he also made me drop my pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 161

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 691

You deserved it 4 055

Today, I realized that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 369

You deserved it 4 360

Today, I found male enhancers hidden in the back of the car, which I'm assuming are my husband's, but we haven't been having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 717

You deserved it 381

Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 883

You deserved it 6 450

Today, I'm a teacher and was diagnosed with a sinus infection and UTI. The doctor warned me the two antibiotics may cause the runs. My doctor was right, they did, during class. I made it to the bathroom, did the deed, only to find out there was no toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 93