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Goodbye to love

By Obesity - 03/02/2025 16:00 - United States

Today, I was feeling bitter about the ballyhoo surrounding Valentine’s Day. I made a status on Facebook saying the holiday was stupid. Someone commented, “You’re only saying that because you can’t get a boyfriend to save your life and haven’t been laid in years because you’re obese.” They’re right. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 555

Lore dump

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I made the mistake of showing an interest as my boyfriend was playing the new Assassin's Creed. Now I like that he enjoys gaming, but I was not expecting to be given a crash course in Assassin's Creed lore and history all the way back to the first game. It lasted ages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 394

Is this what the kids are doing these days?

By Diddy Mom - 23/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my 12 year-old son’s idea of a “Diddy Party” was him and his friends getting a bunch of baby oil, spilling it on the floor while they rolled on the floor shirtless like a bunch of oiled penguins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 139

Chewed up and spat out

By Anonymous - 26/05/2025 21:00

Today, I retired after 38 years. I went in expecting a proper goodbye, tears, and handshakes. I got none of that; they had me work like normal, then escorted me out after my shift because legally they had to make sure I’d definitely left the building. Not even a retirement card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 92

Predator meets prey

By RIP - 09/06/2025 17:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I found a mouse in my kitchen. Wanting to go about it the humane way, I captured the little guy and released it outside. I then watched as a stray cat in my yard noticed and brutally murdered it. No good deed… FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 329

By Anonymous - 13/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, after carefully keeping track of what I was eating and trying not to turn into a midnight snacker in order to lose weight, my sugar crashed at around 10:30pm. Before this I had two high protein bagels (at around 6:30pm) and a whole pint of fresh blueberries (at roughly 8pm) yet my sugar still crashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 137

Paparazzo

By Paulalala - 10/09/2025 09:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried to take a photo of the guy next to me on the bus because he looked like one of the actors in Harry Potter. My flash went off, and the picture was so close-up it looked like I was documenting his acne. He glared at me for the rest of the ride, which was short because I got off at the next stop, nowhere near my destination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 555

Leave us alone

By Ghabbie - 10/10/2025 15:00

Today, a lady tried to call the cops on me and "child services" because she thought I'd kidnapped my white son. I'm African-American and I'd adopted him. I even showed her the adoption decree, but according to her, "You can't fool me, it's AI-generated! I know how you people work!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 66

And you did it at my birthday dinner

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 12:00

Today, as a makeup influencer, I came home to find my entire makeup collection destroyed. She dumped, stomped, and covered it all in used kitty litter for good measure. My obsessively jealous girlfriend swore I was dressing up for another woman. My collection was worth over $1800. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 226

Stand your ground

By No justice anywhere - 26/11/2025 12:00

Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 64

Dad of the week

By Fuck u brian - 07/12/2025 03:00

Today, I picked up my son, who was recently diagnosed with ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder), from my ex-husband. My ex said, "Yeah, he's over that bullshit eating thing. I told him no video games or TV unless he tried something new at every meal." I hate this smug fucking prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 622

Synchronize your watches

By Anonymous - 24/12/2025 20:00

Today, I texted my partner that I was “on my way.” I then sat on the couch doomscrolling for another 25 minutes. When I finally left, I ran into him in the parking lot, holding groceries, staring at me like I’d just lied for the fun of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 798

Pay attention

By Anonymous - 30/12/2025 03:00

Today, my girlfriend is actually mad at me for not noticing she was two months pregnant. Since we met she’s always had a bit of a belly, and her default clothing is always a big hoodie or dressing gown, she even wears jumpers to bed, so how was I supposed to spot that tiny bit of weight gain? FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 95

Am I wrong or am I right?

By Stephanie mom - 20/01/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, I was arguing with my husband about a girl. Ever since he met this person, he’s been neglecting our marriage. He says they’re just friends. I forcefully grabbed his phone, blocked all her socials, and deleted her number. He got so mad that he said he wanted a divorce and stormed out of our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 833

You do you

By JesstheMess - 21/02/2025 17:00 - United States - Albertville

Today, dieting is making me depressed and I'm so hungry. I don't even care about losing weight, but my boyfriend is and he's doing a low fat diet with me for my health, so I'm going to do the low calorie thing with him. I also feel like I'm not doing well enough in the gym and it's hurting so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 206

Bad kitty

By Anonymous - 21/04/2025 02:00 - United States - Taylor

Today, after coming home with a delicious chocolate cake that I bought for Easter for my family, I realized my mom's cat was chewing on the end of my cellphone charging cord that I left on the floor in a rush to head out the door. I'd only just bought the cord yesterday and the cat chewed on it so hard, the plug's bent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 310

Workout

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, my fitness tracker congratulated me on reaching 10,000 steps. Feeling slightly proud of myself for sticking to my health goals, I went to bed early, only to find out it was counting the steps I took pacing around, trying to find my lost keys for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 301

A lot to unpack here

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 22:00 - Germany

Today, my crazy cousin copies and buys whatever I buy. Like I bought an electric razor to shave my legs and privates, and she took a photo of it to buy the exact same one for herself for the same reason. In a hospital situation that required her to shave her privates, her husband did it for her as she doesn't know how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 102

What does she have that I don't?

By cellie - 18/10/2025 15:00

Today, my ex is doing with his new girl all the things I begged him to do during our relationship. She gets Just Because flowers (he only got me flowers once and complained how expensive they were), trips (he told me he hated traveling), and apparently an engagement ring (he said he didn’t believe in marriage). FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 160

Dominatrix

By Grudges - 01/11/2025 20:00

Today, I found an odd notebook in my wife's desk and opened it. I learned why our sex life has gotten so boring: every time I upset her, she secretly bans something sexual. For instance: "June 16th - dented car - no more lingerie" or "August 9th - forgot wallet on date night - no more rope play." FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 132

Where's Daddy?

By Sypha - 28/11/2025 09:00

Today, I took my parents up on their invitation to spend Thanksgiving with them. My 3 year-old daughter refused to get out of the car and insisted on waiting there. When asked why, she said, "I don't like Grandma because she's mean to Daddy!" Not only did my parents hear, we haven't told her he, my husband, passed away 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 564

Here comes the flood

By Soaked - 27/02/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that having a rug in your bathroom has more uses than I thought. For example, it can soak up a ton of water when your shower head randomly bursts and starts spewing water non-stop while you're at work. There's still water everywhere, and no more showers for the foreseeable future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 76

Unionize!

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 19:00

Today, I found out my wife has been sleeping with one of my employees. Now, I can divorce her no problem, but turns out I can’t fire him for personal reasons because he’s in the union. That means I have to work every day with a man who has been inside the woman I shared marriage vows with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 121

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was invited to a friend's wedding. When I got there, I was surprised to see that it was a surprise wedding, meaning I wasn’t invited at all. I stood there awkwardly for an hour, until the bride's mother finally noticed me and whispered, "You're not on the guest list, are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 108

Baby Got Back

By BigBack - 14/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I came home early from work because I wasn’t feeling well. I overheard a phone conversation that my husband was having in the living room. “Yeah dude, I ain’t attracted to that bitch no more, she got a big back now, but she pays the bills and I got a roof over me, so it’s good, you feel me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 114

Not for everyone

By lol - 16/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, on a whim, I decided to try parkour. I climbed a chain link fence and fell off, right onto my face. Then the owner of the property shouted at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 755

How could you?

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 113

Modernish rejection

By Liarssuckk - 24/06/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, the girl who rejected me because she said she was a lesbian got Facebook official with another guy. I called her out on her lying and she replied, “Take it as a hint, now get out of my Messenger before I call the zookeeper.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 755

Uninvited

By Boner Jim - 24/07/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, my girl came home and said, "I'm gonna jump in the shower, I'm horny as fuck." Naturally, I assumed that was an invitation, so I lit some candles quickly and hopped on the bed, waiting for her. She got out, looked at me funny and said, "The fuck are you doing? I want to masturbate. Get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 132

Good luck

By Anonymous - 08/09/2025 15:00

Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 64

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 847

You deserved it 9 475

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 082

You deserved it 2 430

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 411

You deserved it 86 259

Today, during a family visit, my wife pulled me into the bedroom and told me to talk dirty to her, while there was a risk of being caught. It's her kink, not mine. Her sister must have overheard us because I woke up in hospital. She thought I was secretly abusive and brained me with my own walking cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 191

Today, I got a call from an ex, demanding to know why my Facebook relationship status was set as married. I got married a few months ago, and I quietly explained this to her. My wife overheard and now thinks I've been cheating all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 407

You deserved it 5 646

Today, I shat myself at work. To get home, I have to take two buses with a 20-minute wait in-between. So yes everyone, I'll be 'Shit Girl' for the next two hours, and probably behind my back at work for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 180