The Top

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Can't buy me love

By Lotto - 01/03/2026 15:00

Today, I won the lottery two years ago, got a massive payout, and of course I told my boss to suck a hobo's asshole and rubbed it in my ex-wife's face that I was set for life. Now I'm broker than ever, getting sued for unpaid debt, and I just learned I'm blacklisted in my former career field. Why me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 834

Next!

By Woooow - 27/02/2026 22:00

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 182

No fun allowed

By Elyri - 04/02/2026 22:00

Today, my husband came home and groped my ass, so I tossed cold water into his face to make him back off. He's now acting like I sprayed him with toxic acid waste now. What a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 889

Zero to a hundred real fast

By Ron - 09/02/2026 12:00

Today, I asked the girl I’m seeing to make me some chicken soup because I was sick. She replied, “If you’re sick, go to the doctor. I’m not doing wifey shit if you’re not gonna make me a wife, let alone a girlfriend.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 1 006

Boom boom boom

By Crotch goblins ruin everything! - 16/02/2026 20:00

Today, I got a new upstairs neighbor, a fucking breeder with three brats and a screeching newborn. They’ve barely started moving in their shit and I can hear the howls already. It’s not fair to put them in upstairs apartments above people just trying to enjoy some peace and quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 586

Food guilt

By Anonymous - 08/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband is out with his buddies so I decided to have a solo night in and ordered Uber Eats for dinner. Two hours later, I was craving cheesecake and ordered through Uber Eats again like a little food gremlin. I got the same delivery guy, who now knows EXACTLY what I did. I'm hiding in my house until he leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 406

Safe, but at what cost?

By Leashes - 19/02/2026 09:00

Today, I have a rowdy toddler who will run off if I'm not watching her like a hawk. I got sick of it and bought a tether for her. It works wonderfully, but now I get judgmental stares and nasty comments about "putting a child on a leash like a dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 116

Breaking mom

By Fuck motherhood - 01/03/2026 03:00

Today, I'm so sick of being a mom. I have a screaming toddler and a squalling infant, tearing up the house and stinking up every room, and my husband still has the balls to not only be happy, but ask for ANOTHER. I'm about to walk, dump the kids with his smiley ass, and take his rich family's money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 477

Red flag

By FML - 14/02/2026 22:00

Today, I'm getting married in a week. I was sashaying around the kitchen talking to my friend on the phone, saying, "No more diets, no more blowjobs, and if he complains I get half his money!" when I turned and saw my fiancé in the door. He won't believe that it was a joke and now wants a prenup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 1 086

Pranks are shit

By milk plz - 13/02/2026 12:00

Today, my wife got me back for hiding a realistic tarantula replica in her underwear drawer. She ground up hot peppers and horseradish and shoved it in my mouth while I slept. I woke up screaming in pain and went to the hospital before she confessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 389

Just take your food, lady

By Anonymous - 04/02/2026 20:00

Today, my DoorDash account, which is my primary source of income, has been suspended. I got another ridiculous complaint from some overly sensitive Karen because she saw my three dogs in the car while I was delivering. It’s not like my babies were touching the food or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 004

Harsh but fair

By Singlemamma - 05/02/2026 00:00

Today, I lashed out at the father of my son for not doing anything for the baby. He replied, “I never did shit for you to begin with, didn’t you watch the preview? You knew what you were getting yourself into.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 602

Please sign

By Anonymous - 10/02/2026 12:00

Today, I contacted my ex asking him to please sign away his parental rights so that my husband could legally adopt my son. My ex hasn’t seen my son in nearly 10 years and wants nothing to do with him. However, he won’t sign because in his exact words, “You don’t deserve happiness.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 121

Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend

By Anonymous - 15/02/2026 22:00

Today, the woman I thought I had friend-zoned dumped me because she has "met someone new." I really like her as a friend but felt zero attraction, so after one date I went out of my way not to give off the wrong signals when talking or meeting. It turns out she thought I was on my way out of the "relationship" anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 336

Jumping the gun

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 03:00

Today, I canceled our wedding that was scheduled for tomorrow because my fiancee's father passed away unexpectedly this morning. She got furious when I told her, because she still wanted to go through with it, and said that her dad would have wanted us to. Now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 638

Tasty treat

By ManchotDesAndes - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 551

You deserved it 11 367

Picky eater

By Chez - 04/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife doesn't like to cook. She doesn't like when I cook, because I enjoy cooking and she says I'm "making her feel guilty." She also doesn't want to order take out, as it's "a foolish waste of money." The fuck are we supposed to eat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 86

Power trip

By Anonymous - 20/02/2026 03:00

Today, my boss shouted and screamed at me for my fuck ups that have humiliated the company and cost thousands to put right. It was only when he paused that I was able to tell him he had the wrong guy, he wanted my coworker down the hall. I’ve been here for four years and he still doesn’t know my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 57

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 27/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got reprimanded at work for calling off when I wasn’t sick. Apparently someone at the store saw me making online videos. What a great day to try starting my influencer brand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 928

Badass

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 20:00

Today, my grandmother got caught trying to rob a casino. She was planning this for months, and is claiming I was an integral part of the heist. I'm fifteen and had no idea she was planning this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 67

How the other half lives

By They're children, they want to play - 18/02/2026 12:00

Today, I got a noise complaint about "loud stomping" in my apartment disturbing the tenant below. I guess I'm supposed to tell my sweet children that they are no longer allowed to play in their own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 659

Get tested

By Anonymous - 11/02/2026 12:00

Today, I found out my ex was sleeping around with others without a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 50

Banger tune!

By not the poop - 08/02/2026 00:00

Today, yet again, whenever I try to put on music in the car, my son starts chanting, "Poop! Poop! Poop!" to the tune of whatever I put on. It's been almost six months and it's driving me fucking crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 113

Case dismissed

By Anonymous - 09/02/2026 20:00

Today, my family somehow discovered how much money I make. They didn’t ask for money, or try to be my friend, or try to manipulate me, they just jumped straight to demanding ludicrous amounts of cash for fabricated and imaginary reasons, and already have their own lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 85

Let it out

By Depressed af - 06/02/2026 09:00

Today, I'd built up the courage to talk to my doctor about anxiety, even rehearsing what to say. When she asked, “So what brings you in today?” I immediately burst into tears, said, “I don’t know,” then apologized for crying. She handed me tissues and said, “This happens a lot,” which somehow made me cry harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 102

Family

By You're next, ex-mom! - 08/02/2026 03:00

Today, I came home to see my house trespassed, vandalized, and looted by my cousin, whom I have always hated, and his friends. As I get the cops to haul them to jail, he got kicked out from home for the Nth time and said my mom invited them. When I confronted my mom about it, she dismissed it saying, "He's family!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 79

Ironic

By Pookie - 09/02/2026 22:00

Today, I saw someone at the buffet get two plates in a row. I told my date that, “People nowadays have no self control.” Unbeknownst to me, he was within earshot and told me, “FYI, I was getting a plate for my disabled mother.” After dinner, my date unmatched me and blocked my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 1 070

True love waits

By Sad egg - 11/02/2026 20:00

Today, I learned that Discord will require age verification to access adult servers starting in a month. I'm 12 and about to lose access to 90% of my social life for six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 685

Social construct

By Fuck u - 19/02/2026 00:00

Today, I'm stuck in a bad relationship with a man who won't work to get ahead in life, and whose family looks down on me for being a different race. If I dump him, I'll have to live with my racist dad, who will smuckle endlessly about how I "learned a lesson for dating outside your race." FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 248

Valid concerns

By Gutted - 02/03/2026 00:00

Today, my boyfriend admitted he didn't want to marry me, not because he doesn't want to spend his life with me, but because he'd seen two friends get ruined by divorce settlements, and he "doesn't want my hooks in him." I love him with all my heart and would never dream of pulling a marriage con. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 57

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my psycho ex broke into my fiancée's apartment and cut up her expensive wedding dress. The nutjob is in jail now, but it doesn't seem like the wedding will be happening any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 360

You deserved it 1 386

Today, I realized I wasted my high school and some college years buying the girl I love flowers, gifts, dinners, concert tickets, etc. I was there through her ups and downs. The thanks I get? “But we’re just best friends, silly!” and dating these sorry ass guys who wouldn’t spit on her if she were on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 920

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 509

You deserved it 3 133

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 084

You deserved it 3 985

IT NEVER ENDS

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 97

Today, a friend is refusing to pay her final portion on the vacation we’ve been planning for over a year. She's met a new guy and he’s uncomfortable with her going on a girls' trip. We’ve been planning this trip longer than she’s known him and it’s too close to the date for us to get a full refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 36