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By potatoking24 - 07/01/2016 15:30 - Canada - Windsor

Today, after waiting in front of a washroom stall for 20 minutes to take a dump, I finally realized that the "person" in the stall was just a pair of shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 354

You deserved it 3 490

potatoking24 tells us more.

potatoking24 11

Friday 8 January 2016 16:02

OP here, not only that but when I got inside the stall, there was piss all over the seat that I had to wipe away with toilet paper. And the stall smelled like ass.

By Anonymous - 15/12/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 150

You deserved it 6 625

Hey how are you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 249

You deserved it 4 373

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 05:13 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 185

You deserved it 7 297

It's not what you think

By gooddeedgonebad - 26/05/2013 09:19 - Australia - Upper Swan

Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 074

You deserved it 3 240

By hunnybaby0319 - 02/10/2010 22:07 - United States

Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 899

You deserved it 25 633

By notlaughing - 18/04/2013 13:57 - United States - College Park

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 140

You deserved it 7 301

Slogging for nothing

By JoannaG25 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was told that in order to be considered for more jobs, I should remove my college degree from my resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 246

You deserved it 4 081

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 04:17 - United States - Gilroy

Today, I was heading out for my flight to Australia. I'd put a padlock on my luggage to keep my wallet and passport safe, only to realize way too late that I'd left the key at home. I couldn't get at my passport and ended up missing my flight and my whole vacation along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 308

You deserved it 9 552

Pissed

By Great - 29/05/2015 12:13 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 122

You deserved it 4 588

By Anonymous - 24/01/2014 21:02 - United Kingdom - Broxburn

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 45 006

You deserved it 3 611

George the Cat

By AnonCat - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Vegreville

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 663

You deserved it 3 791

By shrek - 02/05/2016 10:25 - Australia

Today, my brother dyed my white work shirt bright green because I beat him to the shower this morning. As it's my only shirt, I had to wear it to work, where there was a surprise audit and I was fired for incorrect uniform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 722

You deserved it 1 510

You gotta learn

By duh - 27/01/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, I sang the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song with a class of thirty 20-somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 300

You deserved it 26 921

Brilliant

By BrokeAsFuck - 18/10/2012 23:52 - United States

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 649

You deserved it 2 046

Read the room

By IsThisRealLife - 01/02/2016 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 927

You deserved it 5 823

No excuses

By pissedexworker - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that being rushed unconscious to the hospital and missing work qualifies you for termination if you don't call in, even if you have a note from the ER doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 557

You deserved it 2 503

By hulio88 - 07/12/2010 00:37

Today, after years of hard work, I had an interview at the highest ranking university in the world 800 miles from where I live. It snowed heavily for the last 2 days closing every road, railway, and airport causing me to miss the interview. There is no rescheduling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 617

You deserved it 2 718

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 07:25 - United States - Springfield

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 420

You deserved it 3 853

By chicoallen - 31/08/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 001

You deserved it 2 226

By Anonymous - 23/11/2009 10:13 - United States

Today, I found out that some men think it's OK to clip their fingernails at the table, in a restaurant, on a first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 864

You deserved it 3 001

By tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 915

You deserved it 3 577

By RC - 25/10/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, my cousin and I were out on the boardwalk. I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seeing eye dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 349

You deserved it 10 454

By starrybrooke - 06/04/2009 08:40 - United States

Today, while working the dinner rush at my job, every single computer, credit card machine, and printer froze for an hour and a half. The reason behind this issue was a large wire ripped from the mainframe, the same wire I tripped over 20 seconds before while my boss watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 612

You deserved it 9 947

By AlwaysTired - 14/09/2016 14:57 - United States

Today, marks the third time this month my parents came to visit. I moved 5 hours away to get away from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 176

You deserved it 1 540

By letdown13 - 03/04/2013 16:50 - United States - Binghamton

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 485

You deserved it 3 475

By can't wait to go home - 10/06/2016 19:18 - Trinidad and Tobago - Port-of-spain

Today, I lost an art contest to some talentless arsepipe whose piece was literally just a broken heart crudely drawn in her own blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 307

You deserved it 1 993

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 170

You deserved it 5 581

By Eric Forrest - 24/02/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 162

You deserved it 23 993

Technicality

By Dartfrogger - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 378

You deserved it 3 065

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The Top

Today, my colleague pointed out with a disgusted look on his face that I'm wearing 90s clothes again. Just like every time he sees me. What does he mean by 90s clothes? Jeans. Literally any pair of jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 73

Today, in the fitting room at Old Navy, a customer asked me if we sold Calvin Klein jeans. I replied "no ma'am, this isn't a department store, we only sell Old Navy jeans." She left, and complained to my manager, who informed me that "the customer is always right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 448

You deserved it 3 808

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 441

You deserved it 52 622

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 371

You deserved it 58 004

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 805

You deserved it 83 440

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 093

You deserved it 4 871