By Unlucky - 09/10/2009 19:52 - United States
The Top
Lower your expectations
By franky - 25/03/2013 21:45 - Germany - Brunswick
By Frustrated - 25/05/2015 17:42 - United States
By Anonymous - 06/01/2014 19:13 - United States - Lexington
By wheezy - 03/12/2013 17:28 - United States - Bay Springs
By TeddyBearKiller - 07/10/2013 01:11 - United States
By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 20:21 - United States
By yolo is for shitheads - 09/10/2012 16:07 - United States
By lollerskate - 16/01/2010 15:37 - United States
By AnonymousAmber - 31/10/2014 23:10 - United States - Yadkinville
By embarassed - 25/05/2009 04:43 - United States
Get Lucky, sound of the summer
By ashamed - 25/11/2015 15:50 - United States - Buffalo
Reflex
By romea244 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 17:15 - Nepal
By jdubious - 28/04/2009 07:47 - United States
jdubious tells us more.
Careful
By taob - 20/05/2012 17:11 - China - Nanning
By eMmA01 - 14/04/2009 02:50 - United States
By hamiltonma - 01/08/2015 03:20 - United States - Boone
hamiltonma tells us more.
OP here! The people who were running the animal shelter literally put me in a small room with around 25 cats in cages and told me to clean them. I asked for gloves, and they had none. They also didn't mention that most of the cats in the room were caught off the street and were waiting to be spayed, and then re-released. I went to grab the first cat from the cage and put it into a carrier so I could clean the cage, and it literally went crazy. It grabbed ahold of my hand with it's teeth and started scratching all up and down my arms. After I showed the person in charge, they shrugged and told me to keep cleaning! I went home with scratches everywhere! Needless to say, I will not be returning! Thanks for all the comments everyone! I am feeling better today, and have been religiously applying hydrogen peroxide to me wounds! Thanks again!
By College_Grad - 30/07/2015 17:38
College_Grad tells us more.
OP here. I just graduated in May and have been working 2 jobs (one full time in my field and one part time for extra cash) since a week after I graduated. I am almost never home. I am moving to my own apartment at the end of August. I paid rent, car payments, and utilities to my parents every week because I'm a big girl, planning my own family. I have no idea what happened exactly, but someone called the police because I tried to unlock the front door after I came home from work. Everything is ok. We're ok.
By AlexB - 19/08/2016 07:01 - United Kingdom - Blackpool
By AnonymousZOMBIE - 25/06/2015 19:23 - United States - Kenner
AnonymousZOMBIE tells us more.
He practically had a heart attack telling me that I'm not a race driver, when actually I had decided to take the smaller roads and I was going at about 20 mph. Then he proceeded to take off his seat belt jump to the back of the car and lay down on the floor praying that I don't crash the car on the way home. When we finally got home he said if I could heat up his shoes??? because he was very hungry, 10 seconds later, he passed out on the couch. To tell you the truth I don't think alcohol was the only thing he had last night. He works very long hours, and he's a hard working man, and he is always there for us. They gave him a 2 week vacation and the youngest of my brothers is going off to college. I guess he deserves a little bit of fun, especially when my mother passed away a year after my youngest brother was born, he had to raise 3 kids on his own. He got very drunk, but he deserves to have fun every once in a while, the good thing is that there is only one bar he goes to and both the manager and the bartender know us very well and calls one of us to pick him up so he won't have to drive.
By Anonymous - 25/05/2015 16:10 - Canada - Toronto
By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 07:09 - United States
By Anonymous - 20/12/2013 22:00 - United Kingdom - Romford
By offtothejobcentre - 31/12/2012 22:42 - United Kingdom - London
By ScoozieBooze - 20/12/2012 18:17 - United States - Albuquerque
By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23
By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States
By what_a_loner - 17/11/2013 22:07 - Canada - Bowmanville
Identity crisis
By nato - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
Keywords
OK, here is the story. I work as an auto service tech at a dealership. We have a big board of keys for the customer cars. It is set up this way because the techs, advisers, valets and wash guys all need quick access to the keys. I was pulling this customers car into the shop for repairs. Every pepper spray I have ever seen(before yesterday) has come in an upright cylinder. They spray at a right angle and are equipped with a snap down style trigger safety at the top. They often come in a leather holster. There is no mistaking what these are. This particular pepper spray was in a small torpedo shaped, red case. The case was colored but it was clear as well. I could just make out the cylinder through the plastic. I mistook the cylinder as a AA battery which supported my flashlight theory. The trigger was a spring loaded, slide-forward type and it was located on the side of the case. The trigger didn't have an active safety and it resembled a switch. Also, this device discharged straight out the end. Check out the website I've included (down at the bottom) to see the real thing. Look at the refills as well and you can see the bottom does in fact look like a battery. First, I pointed the device away from me and pushed down on the button and nothing happened. Then I noticed that the lever slid forward, again nothing happened. I was starting to wonder what the hell kind of flashlight this was. With the lever still slid forward it I looked into the end(to see if it even had a bulb in it) and it discharged into my eye. In order to discharge you had to slide forward then push down. This is their so called "automatic safety". The pain was pretty intense! My coworker guided to the water hose where I flushed my eyes and face for about 20 minutes. As long as I had cool water on my face the pain was manageable. As soon as I took the water away it did in fact feel as if my face was on fire. After I felt slightly better, my right eye was all bloodshot and face was all red. One coworker said it looked like I got hit with a softball. Within 45 minutes there was no pain at all and my face had pretty much returned to normal. THE GOOD: I only took a short .25 second burst I sprayed myself in the face and spared my coworkers There was a water hose nearby THE BAD: I took a .25 second burst of pepper spray! It hit me right in the eye It burned like a bastard THE UGLY: My face just after the whole ordeal #3 Yep, that's me #4 I like gadgets #6 I would post to youtube myself if I had the footage #10 THANK YOU! #13 I truly feel your pain #14 see #13 #19 Sure did, and to top it all off it is called "The Spitfire" #24 THANK YOU! I guess the rest of you a-holes would pepper spray the key cutting guy for looking at your Welcome to Las Vegas keychain #31 A guy who totally gets the point of this story #39 THANK YOU! #48 A very accurate description #49 I understand your thinking but this did happen just yesterday, and I'm the jackass who did it #50 A very valid point