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OP here. The restaurant allows dogs, saying its illegal when it's obviously not makes no sense. He is 5 months, more than a week after the vaccination. No way was he going anywhere the day of. He goes on walks in public (touristy) areas and has met many people and dogs. He had never thrown up before so that's why it was so surprising. He has been fine since so we just have to chalk it up to excitement. He was very well behaved but very upset that none of the food going by was for him. And no we absolutely can not leave him alone while we go out. He is like a toddler, I go pee and he has gotten into something, if there is nothing to get into he chews on furniture, if there's no furniture he chews himself and barks until he gets tired. We definitely want him social and coming out with us over all that.

Not welcome here

By Imgonnahaveabf - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 736

You deserved it 3 692

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 20:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 215

You deserved it 3 814

By sammyducks227 - 08/11/2013 07:49 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 584

You deserved it 3 697

By HeatoN - 22/12/2008 01:44 - Germany

Today, I was browsing the internet and I found a picture of my girlfriend on uglypeople.com. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 623

You deserved it 7 367

Wisdom

By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 483

You deserved it 3 069

Whatcha do when they come for you?

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 924

You deserved it 4 389

Same

By Anonymous - 08/01/2015 14:24 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 997

You deserved it 6 097

By Smoothskin - 19/09/2013 21:18 - Australia - Heidelberg

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 321

You deserved it 3 949

Freak out

By RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) - 17/12/2014 18:47 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 909

You deserved it 6 646

Well spotted

By baybuh - 30/12/2009 17:26 - United States

Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 916

You deserved it 26 449

By calivianya - 28/08/2012 04:49 - United States - Greensboro

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 140

You deserved it 2 200

calivianya tells us more.

calivianya 29

Tuesday 28 August 2012 18:02

Just so you guys know, I have a whole lot of furniture. I'm pretty sure the cricket was hiding under one of the pieces of furniture, but every time I got near my couch, ottoman, armchair, side table, or bookcase, it stopped chirping. It was pretty hard to tell where it was coming from!

Thanks, dude

By unfortunate - 09/06/2009 23:12 - United States

Today, I was late to work and couldn't get my gas tank open. Panicking, I asked the only person around to help me who happened to be a very large man. He was able to open it for me and seemed really nice. That is until he pulled out a knife and robbed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 358

You deserved it 4 249

By Hareega - 19/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, I took my first day off in 3 weeks just so I can sleep in. The office secretary woke me up at 7.12 am with a page wishing me a nice day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 595

You deserved it 3 984

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 267

You deserved it 4 267

By JC - 06/12/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 552

You deserved it 9 884

By ineedbetterfriends - 15/06/2013 21:08 - Netherlands - Amersfoort

Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 659

You deserved it 5 764

By lackadaisy_leah - 15/05/2013 16:12 - United States

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 441

You deserved it 9 119

lackadaisy_leah tells us more.

lackadaisy_leah 15

Thursday 16 May 2013 1:22

OP here. My mom is super awesome, and it was actually really funny. I just thought sharing it with FML would be fun. :) As far as the status, it wasn't an attention thing, I was just remarking on an elderly couple I saw walking the mall and wanted to post about it. The bit about my boyfriend was just an add-on.