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OP here. I don't have time to reply to every single comment, so here's the answers to all of your questions: 1. I was there because I was shopping. I work retail. Duh. "Store manager". 2. I resigned four months ago, with this manager witnessing. Also, I'm not a "he". Lol.

By CrazyBitch - 04/04/2013 08:20 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her whole life flashed before her eyes. According to her grandmother, my girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 259

You deserved it 3 503

This is fine

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while at work, I suddenly went into diabetic shock. As I was nearly passed out on the floor, a customer yelled at me for not getting his coffee in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 256

You deserved it 3 656

By savannahsboxxx - 11/07/2015 12:09 - United States

Today, my dog brought me a a dead rabbit. It so happened to be the rabbit a group of neighborhood kids were looking for after they lost it yesterday. I just had to hide a body for my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 069

You deserved it 2 496

savannahsboxxx tells us more.

savannahsboxxx 12

Sunday 12 July 2015 14:45

I love my phone any who they came out and said she'll have to pass a test or she'll have to go on a dangerous dog list. I personally will know she'll pass but it's not like I trained her to kill there rabbit it was animal instant. It happened in my yard while she was on a tie out. so it's there fault for not being responsible with there rabbit.

By Anonymous - 07/04/2014 23:24 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I was given a call home, a 3-day-suspension, and a week of detention in school for a "serious violation of the code of conduct." Said violation? Jogging in the middle of the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 452

You deserved it 4 718

By Anonymous - 01/07/2015 18:56

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 906

You deserved it 2 498

365 Days part 16

By frustrated - 13/01/2013 06:39 - United States - Miami

Today, while reading an erotic story, I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 667

You deserved it 12 475

Relevant to my interests

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 563

You deserved it 4 269

By ositsranielle - 13/02/2010 17:32 - United States

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 253

You deserved it 8 209

By littlekellilee - 07/10/2013 16:20 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 182

You deserved it 5 077

littlekellilee tells us more.

littlekellilee 45

Tuesday 8 October 2013 4:45

Thanks for the kind words towards my cat, she's feeling much better! The comments were all hilarious! I think he was just still feeling sensitive about the fight because he apologized shortly after and admitted to acting crazy. I think I'll probably keep him around, he's a pretty good guy usually and definitely hasn't done this before. I'll keep an eye out though. Thanks everyone!

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 07:36 - United States

Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 545

You deserved it 3 078