The Top

Basically, he's had hamsters that have dies before, and we always gave them a funeral... so I didn't want to bury him in a plastic tube so my husband gave me the job of removing the hamster....

Denial

By twinArmageddon2 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - El Cajon

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 018

You deserved it 11 444

By Anonymous - 15/03/2014 22:05 - United States - Littleton

Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them, I was faced with the sight of my boss and a coworker getting it on against my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 655

You deserved it 5 205

By UkuleleTime - 23/06/2015 08:07 - United States - Garner

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 898

You deserved it 2 428

By rhartnett11 - 23/04/2011 06:12 - United States

Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 230

You deserved it 3 004

By hiii. - 16/03/2010 02:27 - United States

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 344

You deserved it 40 899

By misty_love - 10/03/2010 08:09 - United States

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 744

You deserved it 3 741

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 220

Today, my boyfriend’s dog decided that his stomach needed a month’s supply of contacts more than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 644

You deserved it 331

Today, I slipped out my bedroom window at night in an attempt to rebel against my parents. Then I realized that I have no friends and nowhere to go, so I tried to climb back in. I fell, broke my ankle, and laid in the dirt until my parents found me in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 714

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 811

You deserved it 2 739

Today, on our twelfth wedding anniversary, my wife fell asleep at a fine dining restaurant table within seconds of asking me about my exciting job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 103

Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 220

You deserved it 1 601