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Okay guys, here's the story: my girlfriend and I were together for nearly two years, and one day she told me she was pregnant. I didn't know how to react at first, but I eventually came to terms with it and became excited for my son. Fast forward three months: my girlfriend is obviously pregnant now, and I was out drinking with my best friend. We took a great picture together in the bar to celebrate this great moment in my life, and then I asked him to send it me. That's when I saw the pictures of my girlfriend in a recent conversation. I confronted her, and found out that she had been sleeping with him, took the test, and it's his. I broke up with her and stopped talking to my ex friend.

By anonymous - 10/02/2010 20:59 - United States

Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 077

You deserved it 2 761

By deepblue - 24/01/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 005

You deserved it 3 046

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 18:21 - United States

Today, I decided to treat my yeast infection over the counter to avoid going to the doctor. Too bad I didn't read the directions. Now I have to go to the doctor to get the tip of the applicator removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 757

You deserved it 39 012

By Anonymous - 28/07/2013 14:31 - Sweden - Ludvika

Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 480

You deserved it 4 267

By danceinconverse - 23/09/2014 18:04 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I saw my boyfriend wiping his nose with his hand and then using the snot to gel back his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 673

You deserved it 5 073

danceinconverse tells us more.

danceinconverse 25

Monday 25 May 2015 8:48

Just followed up on my recently accepted FML, so thought I should explain this one too! Everyone's comments seriously made me laugh by the way. Especially the shrek one, my boyfriend really appreciated that. To everyone saying "you mean ex boyfriend?", no. (Let me explain). If I dated a guy who legitimately did this, you can bet your bottom dollar he would be kicked to the curb. But I have to admit, I only posted a small portion of the full story. He actually mimed doing this as a joke in front of our friends, but unfortunately he managed to unintentionally get a little booger on his hand and actually wipe it in his hair. I informed him, and he ran to the bathroom with a mortified look to shower. And no, we will never let him live it down! Mwahahaha!

Ayy Macarena

By fired - 27/06/2012 20:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 238

You deserved it 3 073

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 811

You deserved it 9 206

By secret_source - 17/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 109

You deserved it 2 012

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 16:32 - United States

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 976

You deserved it 9 922

By Anonymous - 22/04/2014 15:26 - Canada - Sackville

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 840

You deserved it 3 641

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 15:27 - United States - Iola

Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 349

You deserved it 5 506

Misconstrued

By Anonymous - 22/09/2009 23:36 - Canada

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 052

You deserved it 3 210

Misconstrued

By heyadrian - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Gardena

Today, I went to a family reunion. I laughed at my uncle's Sylvester Stallone impression. Turns out he had a stroke a while back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 918

You deserved it 16 774

heyadrian tells us more.

heyadrian 2

Thursday 20 February 2014 20:20

OP here. we didn't know my uncle that well he was one of the family members that dropped off the face of the earth. I came in at the wrong time when people were laughing so I thought he was doing an impression this is both a FML and a YDI