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Hello, OP here! So you FMLers know, my wallet now goes in safe places when I use the bathroom( ie. My purse or backpack.) I was actually in the process of reaching down to pick it up when her hand appeared in my stall, from under the door. I didn't step on her hand, but thought about it. I did yell at her and report her to management, though. She has actually stolen other people's wallets, so I guess I am lucky.

Make it til you fake it

By namehere34 - 29/12/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I found a diamond on the floor, which I could only assume was from one of my brother's cheap earrings. I was positive that it was fake. To prove it to myself, I ran it across my window, as they say only real diamonds cut glass. It's real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 488

You deserved it 42 456

Neighborhood watch

By ClothMom - 08/12/2009 07:02 - United States

Today, I was visited by Child Protective Services. It seems someone on my street reported me for neglect because I cloth diaper my children. I moved in less than 6 months ago, so I guess this is how they say, "Welcome to the neighborhood!" about these parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 275

You deserved it 3 731

By Anonymous - 03/12/2009 08:23 - United States

Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 791

You deserved it 3 215

Me me me

By perfectmoment - 30/11/2009 00:47 - Canada

Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 603

You deserved it 6 005

He studied the blade

By Ryoichi - 17/09/2015 11:13 - Germany

Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 983

You deserved it 1 664

Weirded out

By CreepyPaperDoll - 05/11/2009 06:36 - United States

Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 996

You deserved it 3 974

By Anothermoose - 26/05/2014 03:34 - United States - Victorville

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 978

You deserved it 5 859

By Kasizzle - 26/02/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 160

You deserved it 42 122

Kasizzle tells us more.

Kasizzle 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 18:20

Well I dont think she will be coming back in, honestly the biggest pants I have ever seen. I am 6 foot and I could pretty much stand in the waist line of the pants. and we had to charge her 5 dollars more. Needless to say the presser was PISSED. I could not say "one item" because the dry cleaners I work at does not charge the same price for every item ( Like a lot do). I did give her a discount though because I felt so bad.