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Hey OP here, my boyfriend is a full time University student who works three nights a week and is currently trying to pay off his $20,000 degree. Yes it was the first time I had met his mother, and obviously if she was home I wouldn't have stayed over if she didn't want me to. Give me some credit. And oath it was one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life. -.-

By Anonymous - 24/02/2011 10:34 - United States

Today, I asked my dad what his plans for Friday were. Apparently, he's going to a concert with my step-mom all evening. It's been their plan for months. Friday is my birthday. That's been set since the day I was born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 265

You deserved it 7 058

Break ups are tough

By ... - 10/02/2010 09:08 - United States

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This included Nazi symbols, "white power", and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominantly black neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 195

You deserved it 4 381

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 10:43 - United States

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 156

You deserved it 4 463

By Fredgruff - 09/01/2010 13:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 496

You deserved it 6 827

By Anonymous - 06/08/2012 05:03 - United States - Mountain View

Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 835

You deserved it 2 577

By unemployed-dude - 08/12/2015 06:17 - Australia - Vermont

Today, I got fired from my job because I closed the store 84 seconds early. They found out because the state manager was sitting across the street with binoculars watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 417

You deserved it 3 885

Nice try, Sharon

By Anonymous - 23/06/2013 10:38 - United States - Fountain Valley

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 680

You deserved it 25 617

Productivity

By Anonymous - 24/07/2014 09:05 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 723

You deserved it 8 911

By fuck - 24/07/2015 16:44 - Canada - Cowansville

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 739

You deserved it 3 145

Shy bowels

By Dragoness11 - 27/03/2014 14:12 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 142

You deserved it 9 663

By Criminal - 13/07/2010 23:15 - United States

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 942

You deserved it 49 410

By no touching - 06/03/2015 14:03 - Australia - Blacktown

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 698

You deserved it 5 224

By AidenFromSweden - 06/07/2009 18:41 - Sweden

Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 839

You deserved it 4 448

By Anonymous - 08/09/2013 23:20 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 479

You deserved it 4 436

By Anonymous - 29/11/2014 16:28 - United States - Portland

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 446

You deserved it 5 764

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 06:31 - United Kingdom - Evesham

Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 089

You deserved it 2 420

By gas money - 22/11/2015 04:34 - United States - Reno

Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 871

You deserved it 3 505

By shizzy09 - 13/04/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 526

You deserved it 5 145

By Neversleepingthereagain - 28/02/2013 19:00 - United States - Manchester

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 641

You deserved it 4 954

By ninalian - 22/05/2011 06:30 - United States

Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 191

You deserved it 4 509

By Anonymous - 13/03/2012 23:12 - Canada

Today, I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, after she confessed to still being in love with me. I logged into Facebook after she left, only to find her status set to "I think I just made a big mistake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 196

You deserved it 8 718

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 918

You deserved it 3 420

Say yes

By fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 102

You deserved it 5 191

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 208

You deserved it 2 333

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 892

You deserved it 34 430

Today, it was my boyfriend and mine's six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same, so I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What did he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 258

You deserved it 9 923

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 537

You deserved it 2 498

Today, a guy who I've been on five dates with called me for the first time in 2 weeks. The first thing I said was, "Don't expect me to go out with you again after going AWOL on me." Then he told me his mom died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 858

You deserved it 70 198

Today, my boyfriend got a raise after working at a company for 3 months. I'm proud of him, but I've been working at the company for almost 2 years, trying to get to his position. My parents own the company and put him there when they hired him, and now he makes more than me, thanks to their raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 565

You deserved it 956