The Top

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Shady

By Mellieb - 28/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out the reason why my boyfriend of two years stopped posting about our relationship on social media. It wasn’t to “protect our relationship from hating eyes and bad energy.” Apparently, there’s a hot new young lady that works with him and he added her. Me being in the picture would ruin his chances with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 127

To infinity and beyond

By Gwen - 07/08/2025 21:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, it's much easier to get things on now in our 40s than it was when we were younger. However, if I want to boost things even further, I don't need adult movies, but an episode of the Buzz Lightyear show from 2000s. This guy gives me such a girl boner that my husband now calls our sexual stuff "Lightyearing around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 355

Nutshot

By Unwilling Target - 03/10/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, my dad decided to test if Nerf guns actually hurt by sneaking up on me and shooting me with one. He missed; however, when he shot at me again, he hit my cat on my lap, causing my poor cat to run away. After desperately trying to apologize to my cat, he then shot at me a THIRD time, nailing me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 171

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 548

Major red flag

By Whybother - 15/10/2022 06:00

Today, the nutcase I was dating broke up with me because I don't want to open a shop with his broke ass using my lifelong saved money. He's now throwing all I told him in confidence back in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 132

Charming

By lordoftheweird - 17/08/2025 18:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 109

Let it go

By Anonymous - 20/08/2025 02:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I found out my ex-wife (who I have kids with) is now pregnant with another guy's twin babies. We have only been divorced a couple of months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 141

Dumbest cheater

By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 06:00

Today, and for the last few weeks, I'd let the nagging feeling that my boyfriend was up to something go. It's also the day I found his messages to other girls on Xbox Live of all things. On a profile that we both share. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 146

Do a backflip!

By Anonymous - 22/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 148

Bye!

By Anonymous - 24/08/2025 14:00 - Ireland

Today, I was finishing up an internship so while driving past the other interns I said, "Bye losers!" as a joke. It turns out that the CEO was with them and fully heard me yell that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 679

Fatherly love

By Anonymous - 27/02/2024 10:00 - Ukraine

Today, I finally had it out with my abusive father. I spent almost an hour detailing about how he constantly humiliates me in public, treats me like slime, and hits me at random when he's in a bad mood. His response was, "Quit being such a wimp" because I'm "not female." Mom took his side. I'm 16 and can't move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 109

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my bathroom electrical outlet has a feature unique from the others, where it turns off on it's own and has to be reset. I found this out after returning an electric toothbrush for a refund, then paying double for another one, thinking the first one's charger didn't work thanks to the outlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 501

420 blaze it!

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 04:01

Today, according to my boss, he could cancel out the chill effect of pot brownies by mixing Red Bull into coffee. Somehow, I think his wastedness was still noticeable, since he fell asleep at an important meeting and our main investor pulled out, putting most of our jobs at risk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 95

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 08:00 - Australia

Today, I had to temporarily remove the drain pipe under the sink. I absentmindedly poured the stinky water from the trap into the now drainless sink, and flooded the cupboard I was working in with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 545

Solo

By AmIworthit? - 13/08/2021 10:01 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I had to admit to an attractive coworker that it wasn't a hickey on my neck, but a mosquito bite instead. I then realized how alone I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 122

Teambuilding

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 10:00 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, my team and I were given the options to travel together by company bus, or self-drive to a company outing. We all chose to self-drive. Our boss got extremely mad and said we had no team spirit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 203

Safe driver, huh?

By Blind idiot - 11/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, as I came home from work, I got to my car and was wondering why the door wouldn't open. My eyesight is poor and it was super dark outside, so I didn't realize it wasn't my car until the owner appeared and threatened to call the police. I might need to invest in night-vision goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 235

So frustrating!

By Sexless - 18/09/2025 20:00

Today, my wife complained that I never try to initiate sex anymore. I moved in to kiss her, only for her to push away and say, "I don't want sex!" I tried again later that night. "I don't want sex!" The next day: "I don't want sex!" This is why I never try; if something doesn't work, why keep trying it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 78

Little bundle of fluff

By Anonymous - 23/09/2025 22:00

Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 114

Timeshare

By Anonymous - 17/11/2022 02:00

Today, my ex, who I still live with, invited he’s best friend (a drama starter) and his new love interest over for dinner while I was at work. Now I’m outside, waiting for them both to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 343

What is wrong with you?

By Anonymous - 30/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, I had to inform my son that no, his genital warts will not just go away on their own, and if he ever wants to have sex with a decent woman again, he’ll take his stupid self to the doctor and get treated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 140

Welcome to middle age

By Daisy - 23/11/2022 12:00

Today, I found out I've been adulting too long when I noticed that the bags at Smart & Final are shorter than the last time I was here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 167

Get out

By Anonymous - 24/05/2020 05:00

Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and said, "You want in, bitch?" I then had to prevent his jealous, half-naked girlfriend from murdering me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 206

Deflated

By Pay rise - 22/11/2022 10:00

Today, my lawyer let me know that due to the rising costs of living, her rate has increased to $565 an hour. That's more 20 times my pay. I'm not even getting a cost of living increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 110

Covert

By Tabby Kat - 21/10/2025 15:00

Today, I tried to take a subtle picture of a cute guy reading at a café. My phone flash went off. He looked up, made direct eye contact, and said, “You could’ve just asked.” I packed up my stuff and left immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 685

Strangetown

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 23:00 - United States - Scammon

Today, I made a joke about an older girl looking sexy because she had messy hair and half makeup on and half off. My girlfriend of 3 years found it offensive and broke up with me, then later made up rumors. Now my whole high school thinks I got her pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 303

Nothing is real anymore

By Alice - 28/10/2025 15:00

Today, after matching on Tinder and chatting for several days, this guy asked for more photos, so I sent him some recent pics of me in the garden. He then said they were AI and told me to, "Fuck off, clanker." The pics were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 71

Stressed out

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I realized that being chronically stressed since I was 12 has made me look older than I am. I used to be the youngest looking kid in my high school. That lead to me being ignored and mistaken for an innocent kid, causing me stress. As a 25 year-old adult, I work my ass off just to survive, causing me stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 166

Try again

By Anonymous - 10/09/2021 14:01 - Luxembourg

Today, I spent almost 8 hours working on a piece of hand lettering art for a friend. When I sent her a preview, she loved it, but also pointed out that the title was off centre. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 242

Downer

By Anonymous - 08/12/2022 16:00 - Australia - Glenroy

Today, it's my third day of gastroenteritis that’s wreaked havoc on my young family for a full week. More vomit and poo than I care to admit. Coming up to the two year anniversary of my brother taking his own life, just before Xmas. People say it’s a happy time of year. Not for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 116

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, at work, a lady approached me asking if I'd found a used cloth diaper on a table, and I told her it was probably in the trash. She said "That's okay, I can wash it." So I searched through several bags of trash, and when I couldn't find it, she said "Oh never mind! It's in my bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 589

You deserved it 4 609

Today, my mom and I got into a fight about a topic we agreed on. Seems like we're destined to never get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 573

You deserved it 326

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 517

You deserved it 5 429

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 953

You deserved it 5 686

Today, my boyfriend said we needed to talk. He called me cruel, cold and heartless and that it’s making him reconsider what kind of future we may have together. All because I hate sappy movies and don’t cry on the scenes where the dogs die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 287

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling, "Who's your daddy?" at his plate of barbecued meat, and my mom just sat there with that, "What the hell happened to my life?" look on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 370

You deserved it 4 570