The Top

OP here replying to Nikki - The world is different for sons and daughters. Last summer, when she was 13, she snuck out in the middle of the night and walked 5km to make out with her boyfriend on lawn of a toys'r us. The police called me at 3 in the morning to come pick her up. (my previous FML) As much as I try and treat my sons and daughters the same, it really isn't safe for a young girl to be walking alone in the middle of the night. That's also why I couldn't really demand her and her friends come in, since her older brothers would go skate boarding in the middle of the night. At least she was out right outside our house so I knew she was safe.

Hazmat suit time

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 13:00 - Kenya - Nairobi

Today, I went to the doctor because I felt sick. He told me to describe the symptoms I had. With every new symptom I described, he took a step back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 137

Pro gamer move

By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 07:04 - France

Today, I wanted to play Among Us for a little distraction. I ended up having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 277

It's a doggy dog world

By Tom - 02/10/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - Zoetermeer

Today, it's been two years since I got a Dobermann as a gift for my husband. For two years he has cried non-stop, constantly played with his privates, reeked of dead corpse, and used shit to mark the entire yard. He cries all night long. I haven’t slept in two years. I think I have sleep deprivation. My husband says he must stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 554

Asshole

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 06:00

Today, after my dad recently had to go sober or face dying within a year, it turns out that without the alcohol, his personality still sucks. He used to be a drunk asshole, but now he’s just an asshole. At least when he was drunk he used to pass out. Now he can be an asshole all night without stopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 104

Put your back into it

By FaronKee - 18/12/2020 00:56 - United Kingdom

Today, for the first time in 2 years I was able to clean my kitchen, because my back pain has stopped me looking after myself. When I stopped cleaning, my pain was so bad, all I could do was lay flat in bed. Not even my pain meds could help. My kitchen is still not completely clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 112

Lads being lads

By Anonymous - 17/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at my local fishing tackle shop, some dumb kids got into a fight and knocked me over into a glass display case of antique fishing hooks. I’m now in hospital, not only from cuts from broken glass, but to have 27 barbed hooks removed from my hands, arms, and face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 80

Covidiots everywhere

By Seth - 19/12/2020 22:58

Today, I realised the biggest FML this year was getting into online debates with people about Covid not being a hoax. One guy even said it was over, while I knew the numbers were climbing back up as I work in health-care, and I was sat on a toilet with diarrhea because I have Covid myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 260

Paging Taylor Swift

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 15:00

Today, my mom ambushed me with my cheating ex-fiancé, thinking being in the same room would miraculously change the past and we’d get back together. When I tried to walk out, my mom screamed like a banshee and latched onto my leg. After this I’m putting her in a retirement home and never visiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 99

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 279

Life choices

By Jim - 25/12/2020 02:01

Today, my mom is coming to pick up the Christmas presents we got for her and her husband. She won’t come inside or come within 6 feet, so she can be healthy when she goes down to the ex-wife’s parents house to hang out. The ex in-laws that hate me. Glad my mom chose them over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 148

Rain check?

By emberstormmm - 03/06/2023 03:00

Today, my family was going to have lunch with my parents' friends, who have a kid my age who is very similar to me, and is really cute. I wanted their number to see if it could turn into something beyond friendship, so I dressed up cute and did extra flawless makeup. All for the lunch to be canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 214

Denial is hard to beat

By Keith - 16/04/2022 22:00

Today, my mother still hasn't figured out that my ex is a manipulative cow who has no interest in a relationship with her, apart from her usefulness as a babysitter, and sympathetic cash machine, but when I try to tell her that, she gets mad at me. The kid isn't even mine, it's from the guy she cheated with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 109

Procrastinating my life away

By Beatrix - 11/11/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to be productive and got dressed in real clothes instead of sweatpants. I spent the next four hours on the couch binge-watching Netflix and pretending I had plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 403

Housemates from hell

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 13:58

Today, my housemate saw some stuff in the barn, thought I surely wouldn’t be using it, so he stacked lots of lawn furniture on top. The “stuff” in question? Bales of hay. As in, daily food for my horses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 101

Constant surveillance

By mister fixit? more like mister fuxit - 25/11/2024 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 274

ADHD FML

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 17:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, I asked my group via Discord if we had a meeting with the professor we're working with on a project. I got to chatting with someone else regarding the class we had just gotten out of, and forget to check the Discord until hours later, realizing one of my group mates had said yes, and that I had missed it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 1 306

Going like the clappers

By Anonymous - 03/12/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my family has been unsuccessfully trying to stop my sister's energy drink addiction. She's not even 30, but the doctors say her heart health (or lack thereof) is roughly equivalent to a person over twice her age. She probably won't even live to 40 at this rate, which makes us sad. Why won't she listen to us? FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 97

The real me

By Anonymous - 26/01/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after three days of dating a boy I liked, he came out as gay on his Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 140

Where am I going?

By Rob - 05/12/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I asked a stranger for directions and then drove in the opposite direction they'd pointed to, all because my ADHD brain did that thing where I couldn't pay attention past their first instruction, which to me sounded like, "Take the first left, then the second right, then fla flafla fla flaflafla." FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 348

FML's Who's Responsible…?

By Louis - 25/04/2017 21:30 - France - Saint-jean-de-braye

Can you work out who dunnit?

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 155

Life imitates Anime

By Anonymous - 13/07/2023 16:00

Today, I have quite a niche career forging swords, knives, and other weapons for museums. Well today my wife wanted to watch the anime Demon Slayer, we got to the scenes with the insane masked swordsmith, and she burst out laughing like, “Oh my god, you’re twins, grumpy twins!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 237

**** this pandemic

By Anonymous - 07/02/2021 11:01 - Canada - Mirabel

Today, working from home and to escape my own toddler, I moved my work area into the bedroom. Perfect timing for the neighbor's toddler to scream at the top of his lungs. All day long, underneath my bedroom. I just wanted some peace and quiet to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 135

Can't we all just get along?

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 03:00

Today, while celebrating my birthday, my family found time after a few drinks to start at least one argument, if not more, and drove me to biting my nails off. I don't even remember the last time that happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 157

Partaaaaaaaay !

By Anonymous - 11/02/2021 23:01 - Germany

Today, being unemployed and under lockdown, my idea of a party is driving to the dentist and turning the sound system up in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 138

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, coming home from a trip in the mountains, I got a cracked radiator and my car overheated. My dad came to get me, he drove my car and I followed in his. I got pulled over and ticketed for his expired registration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 289

You deserved it 3 507

Today, I found out that my unborn son has an abnormally large head. I have an abnormally small and narrow pelvis, and I'm allergic to local anesthetic, so no epidural or spinal for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 200

You deserved it 460

Today, I apparently I created a group chat with the four guys I saw any potential with, ruining every single one of the possible future relationships all at once because they now know about each other. I give up on dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 1 932

Today, a maintenance crew came to shovel outside our apartment at 1:00 a.m. They were a hired third party so our usual maintenance guy can't stop them, they didn't speak English for me to communicate, and the cops don't consider shoveling a noise complaint. They woke my kids, and I have to be up again in a few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 284

Today, during a job interview, the interviewer asked me to “describe a time I overcame a challenge.” My mind went blank. After 10 seconds of silence, I blurted out, “Once, I tried to cancel my gym membership.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 144

Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 105