The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Dancing Queen

By now what? - 09/05/2021 23:59

Today, after my dad told me to sign my daughter up for expensive dance lessons as a birthday present, and she was ecstatic and very dedicated, I asked him for the payment for this month. He replied, "Oh, she wanted more than one lesson?" Now she won’t stop crying and I have no way to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 150

This charming man

By Anonymous - 28/10/2023 22:00

Today, I refused to have sex with my date, so he called me an Uber from the restaurant to just take me home. I didn’t realise until I got home it wasn’t even an Uber, just a standard taxi who required payment in either cash or debit card, and I had to pay before he’d let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 334

You never know what you got until it's gone

By JustAFool - 31/10/2023 05:56

Today, I got my heart torn into a million pieces by a girl once again. Four times in a row. I went to hit up the girl I stupidly friendzoned many times. She's lost weight, is married, and is pregnant with their first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 456

Doghouse

By Anonymous - 04/11/2023 04:00

Today, stressed to the point of breakdown over my impending daughter's birth, I went to a small church. After a long talk with the pastor, I finally began to feel some calm and peace. Too bad my wife flipped out, accused me of wanting to make her a "handmaid" and made me sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 174

Sworn to secrecy

By TheEpicWario - 01/06/2021 14:02

Today, my mom confirmed my suspicions that my dad cheated on her. She then told me to hide my knowledge about it from my dad, and to keep my brother completely in the dark for now. Now I can't even look at my dad without reaching the brink of crying, and I'm somehow supposed to keep this under wraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 175

Well balanced

By Anonymous - 31/07/2022 14:00

Today, after years of martial arts training, ballet, and dance, I thought I had pretty good balance for a dude. Then I accidentally stuck both legs in one side of my pants and tipped head first into the wall. The ER doctor has scheduled a test for TBI, and the vertigo “may be permanent.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 132

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 194

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 746

Time sensitive

By Landin - 12/05/2025 16:00 - United States - Vernal

Today, my girlfriend left me at 11pm after leading me on for 5 months, all because she lost interest. I wasted so much time, money, and emotions on her, and never received them from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 282

That blows

By Oww - 23/07/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I have a zit on the edge of my nostril, along with severe allergies. I can no longer tell if my tears are from pain or hay fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 97

Alexa, play "Lost in the Supermarket" by The Clash

By metroido - 15/11/2023 16:00

Today, it was my first shift at Walmart. I wasn’t given an assignment, and my supervisor told me to “go find the manager to get assigned.” I spent the entire eight hours of my shift trying to find the manager. I couldn’t find my supervisor again either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 128

The truth is out there

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband is upset because somewhere out there, on a long forgotten social media site, is a picture of me mooning my geography teacher's house. He doesn’t like that my ass is on the internet. It’s a 30 year-old pic, out of focus, taken on a damn flip phone, and you can’t even see my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 152

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 372

Piece of piss

By DogeToTheMoon - 29/05/2021 23:01 - United States - Schertz

Today, I wanted to either say, "I already did it, sweetheart" or "I already did it, baby" to my SO, but my brain had other plans. I started to say ,“I already did it, sweet baby” but I got to "sweet" and in a millisecond mentally switched words, so what I ended up saying was, "I already did it sweet peepee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 315

Narcissist Mom

By ItsYou - 22/11/2023 10:00

Today, my coworker was going on and on about how her son was nice and got good grades but that she needed to find him a therapist because he's too shy in class, and how she didn't want her friends to think badly of her. She's a counselor. I sat in silence for almost an hour, because all I could think was, "WTF? Poor kid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 112

Antiques Roadshow

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 12:00

Today, my brother inherited a book from our grandmother that, in his ignorance, he donated to a charity shop because he’s “not a big reader”. I raced to buy it back, but someone had already bought it. The book in question: a mint condition, 1954 first edition Lord of the Rings, valued at £5000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 105

Bloody Janet

By Not Janet - 28/05/2025 03:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was on a Zoom call with my mic muted. Or so I thought. After about a minute, I started ranting about how Janet always gets credit for my work. Janet was in the meeting. So was my boss. None of them was receptive to my criticism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 629

Shady

By elitch - 02/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was put on unpaid medical leave against my will. I’m not sick, nor am I injured. I talked with HR and they can’t cancel it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 76

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 06/06/2021 06:01

Today, my fiancé told me that my dad apologized to him that I hadn’t inherited my mother’s chest size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 136

Take your time

By Easy-bake oven - 14/08/2022 14:00

Today, after I’ve been head-over heels crushing on a girl for years, she finally told me she felt the same. A month after I'd moved to a different country forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 252

Demonic

By sarcastic_centipede - 09/06/2021 06:02

Today, my mom told me to take the trash out. I started to, but then I saw that the trash can had been rolled out to the curb, so I went to my room to put on shoes. My mom apparently took this as me deciding not to take the trash out, as she not only yelled at me, but growled and hissed as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 105

It's how dey make dah mahnee

By Anonymous - 10/08/2022 04:00

Today, working in PR, I've been unable to attend 2 out of 3 of my booked tours. That "non-refundable, zero excuses" policy with the billion dollar online activities provider has me out $400. So, instead of enjoying what should be a beautiful PR birthday trip, I'm online now scheduling returns of clothes and jewelry to cover the losses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 509

Throw them into a volcano

By stinkstinkman - 07/12/2023 00:00 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I failed to notice a nice ripe pile of dog poop on my front yard until I got to work. I tried to clean my shoe off with alcohol wipes in the bathroom. Not only did it barely work, the wipes are non-flushable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 176

Red alert

By Life With Cats - 15/08/2022 22:00

Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 251

Ad break

By Remy - 17/06/2021 16:01

Today, I had the brilliant idea of scanning my PC in the afternoon, because Malwarebytes told me I might have malware and it's been running hot and slow lately. Five and a half hours later, the scan is 1.3% complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 183

All you need is hate

By Anonymous - 16/06/2021 18:01

Today, I was told that a coworker of mine absolutely hates me. Why? Because sometimes I have a slight stutter, and he thinks I'm mocking his very apparent stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 83

A tale as old as time

By Anonymous - 18/12/2023 17:00 - United States - Huntsville

Today, a really cute girl from my class invited me out for a few drinks. I’ve had a crush on her all year and thought this was my chance. We went out but it turns out she has a boyfriend of 5 and a half years she plans to marry. I saw her as a potential girlfriend and I guess she saw me as something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 605

Safe and sound

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 05:00 - United States - Western Springs

Today, I was expecting new computer parts so I can upgrade my hardware. I was hoping they would get here before I had to leave for work, but they showed up half an hour after my shift started. Now I have $700 worth of computer hardware sitting on my porch for my whole shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 134

Hair issues

By Blake - 26/08/2022 00:00

Today, my wife is angry with me because after she'd convinced me to grow out my hair, it exposed my receding hairline. I shaved my head to the same appearance as when she married me, so I could feel more comfortable with my own body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 130

Too much of a good thing

By emmalou - 11/09/2022 10:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who was leaving the next day. I went out with the intention of a having a carefree good time, as a single parent I don't get many and they haven't been good in years. I ended up having the BEST night in a long time, we stayed up all night talking and pleasuring ourselves, now I don't know when I'll find that again… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 361

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care to explain this?” It was one of my TikToks from ages ago of me singing the "N-word" over and over again. I forgot I had that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 171

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 974

You deserved it 30 026

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 454

You deserved it 2 839

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 854

You deserved it 2 563

Today, I went to a Christmas-themed amusement park with my 21-year-old autistic sister who adores Christmas. She took her picture with Santa and started crying happy tears. Then Santa asked her loudly, "Aren't you beyond old enough to know I'm not real?" Vacation ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 792

You deserved it 456

Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 604