The Top

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Breaking news

By I am really sorry! - 17/03/2024 21:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, on my second day at work. A fellow trainee broke a cardinal rule: no phones in class. When it went off after receiving a text message, our trainer snatched it, handed it to me, and ordered me to read it aloud in front of everyone, "OR ELSE!" Despite my protests, I had to. It read: "Call home ASAP, mom is dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 105

I want to smell feet

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 14:01

Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 168

There must be more to this story

By Anonymous - 28/09/2025 15:00

Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 104

Pay up

By wasntme - 10/05/2020 08:00

Today, I got a bill for $62.70 because my company gave my last work car to some idiot who doesn't like to pay the toll road fees. They never took me off the registration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 125

Fear Factor

By Cowgirl1293 - 26/08/2021 00:01

Today, at 28 years-old, I broke the first ever bone in my body. I broke a metacarpal in my hand by going down an inflatable waterside at a children's birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 169

The Lovecats

By Anonymous - 30/08/2021 09:01 - United States - Springfield

Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 196

Deadlines whoosh by

By Anonymous - 27/11/2022 12:00 - Slovenia - Destrnik

Today, I have to show my boss daily reports on my work over the last three months. She told me this yesterday. They're mandatory, but nobody has ever wanted to see them in the three years I've been working here, so I have long since stopped doing them. It's now 3 am, I start work at 7.30, and I'm not even close to done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 724

Zero rizz

By red - 20/04/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 133

It wasn't me

By not mine! - 16/06/2020 05:07

Today, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to break up with my boyfriend and kick him out after his second relapse. A few hours later, I had police banging down my door. To get back at me, my now ex had called the cops and anonymously reported all the drugs he’d hidden around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 252

Advice needed

By Anonymous - 27/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I lost all hope of finding a man. I’m gonna be 34 and I can’t get a date to save my life. I was cursed with a facial deformity and 285lbs of weight, making all men run for the hills. All of my younger sisters have got married and started families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 261

Time to bail

By Sadmomof2 - 04/01/2023 15:00

Today, during an argument, I finally told husband that I feel like he doesn’t love me or want me, but keeps me around because it’s easier since we have kids involved. I told him I would sleep in my son's room. He responded 15 min later saying he didn’t need me to. Needing and wanting are two different things. He doesn’t love me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 1 253

By I'veRunOuttaPatience - 31/08/2018 03:30

Today, I got scolded for how I treated my aunt and uncle's dogs while pet sitting. I was told it was my fault they had explosive diarrhea for "locking" them in the room they'd told me to put them in at night and doing everything they said when I reported they were sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 083

You deserved it 231

From second to third hand

By Olivia - 23/12/2022 03:00

Today, I wanted to sell some Jordan sneakers on OfferUp. I met up with the buyer in a parking lot. The friendly looking lady buying them said, “Thanks for the shoes, bitch!” then a guy come out, punched me, grabbed the shoes, and they both hauled ass. People saw and did nothing. There goes my kids’ Christmas gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 236

Boredom

By Anonymous - 03/07/2020 14:02

Today, I'm so bored during quarantine that I'm looking forward to the virtual doctor's appointment I made for next week, about the potential erectile dysfunction I might have. I'm also 22 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 210

Slam dunk

By YEET - 21/12/2022 12:00

Today, I was trying to find my phone. My friend found it, and instead of handing it to me like a normal person, he threw it at me. I'm terrible at catching stuff. It bounced off my arm and landed in his cup of Sprite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 141

I can feel this FML

By Anonymous - 06/10/2021 14:00

Today, I just got home from hospital after delivering an order of razor wire. One of the razors split my trousers and my sack open, my bollock was visibly hanging out of the giant slit in my sack and I had to go get it stitched shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 116

A little drinky-drink problem?

By Anonymous - 26/12/2022 15:00 - United States - Newark

Today, a local liquor store gave me a holiday gift for being such a great customer. They're not the first ones to do so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 976

Great birthday

By Anonymous - 11/10/2021 23:00 - United States - Cicero

Today, I bought my boyfriend two concert tickets for his birthday to see our favorite band, and he told me he doesn't feel he loves me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 105

All is fair in love and war

By Backstabbinghxx - 15/10/2021 20:00

Today, my best friend got engaged. I would be happy for her, if it wasn’t for the fact that her fiancé was my boyfriend just 2 months ago. Upon hearing the news, I severed all ties with her. She ended up bitching me out and calling me selfish for being upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 133

**** management

By jobless! - 17/10/2021 23:00

Today, I tried to clock in at 2 pm, but the machine was malfunctioning and kept refusing my card until 2:01. Just yesterday, our manager gave a long angry speech about firing the next person who doesn’t clock in when they’re supposed to, “on the dot.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 106

Sorry seems to be the harshest word

By Anonymous - 23/10/2021 11:00 - United States - Boone

Today, my girlfriend has yelled at me multiple times for saying sorry too much. It's involuntary, due to me constantly being told I never do anything right growing up by my parents. She knows this, and is even then one who helped me realize this, and still yells at me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 176

Strung out

By Anonymous - 22/01/2023 16:30 - Australia

Today, I realised just how caffeine dependent I am. I didn't have time for my morning coffee, work is out of milk, and I only have $1.30 in my bank account, so I couldn't buy a coffee. Today has been a struggle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 661

Good thing IQ isn't real

By Anonymous - 26/01/2023 16:30 - Germany

Today, I was looking for flower seeds on the internet, wanting the same pretty flowers that my mom has. My mom, who lives next door, and whose pretty flowers grow seeds that I could just have picked and planted. It seems a high IQ does not prevent you from simply being stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 791

Narcissistic parents FTW

By KaYLa_LoUiSe - 08/08/2020 08:03

Today, I told my mom I wasn't doing very good mentally and I was looking for some support. She decided to remind me of all of the things I still haven't paid her back for. I'm now an unpaid loan, not her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 242

Synchronize your watches

By Anonymous - 24/12/2025 20:00

Today, I texted my partner that I was “on my way.” I then sat on the couch doomscrolling for another 25 minutes. When I finally left, I ran into him in the parking lot, holding groceries, staring at me like I’d just lied for the fun of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 821

Brain worms

By Whoops - 15/06/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, it's been several weeks, I went to the doctor for an ear infection and I still don't feel too good. It was then that I realized the doctor forgot to prescribe me medication for said infection. That explains a few things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 202

Mr Loverman

By Anonymous - 14/08/2020 08:01

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 313

Stiff

By Anonymous - 20/08/2020 05:02

Today, I had the house to myself so I lay on my bed with a porno for some me time. I was just about to begin when I felt a sting. A mosquito bit me right on the shaft. I’m allergic to mosquitos, so now I’m sweating, covered in hives and my knob is swollen in a very bad, not fun way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 266

You deserved it 486

Survivalists celebrate Halloween too

By IHaveThePower - 01/11/2021 08:00

Today, in Nevada during Halloween night, I discovered my neighbors have something that sounds an awful lot like an explosive. I can't see anything on fire, but WHY do my neighbors have EXPLOSIVES? FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 195

Slippery when wet

By anonymous - 03/01/2017 01:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 738

You deserved it 1 871

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 743

Today, my 30 year-old boyfriend of 4 years OD'd on his mental health medication, resulting in a trip to the hospital. He said the experience was eye-opening and he wants to be 100% honest with me. He then said he wants to have sex with his biological mother, who he finally met last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 434

You deserved it 313

Today, I was having sex with my husband when the pores on his forehead triggered my trypophobia. We had to stop before I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 114

You deserved it 1 782

Today, according to my mother, who is only 19 years older than me and raised me by herself, I was conceived in a satanic ritual to honour the Horned God and have at least 4 potential fathers. She was too stoned to remember the actual number or their names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 137

You deserved it 385

Today, a cashier sniffed at the money "you people" waste on tattoos. I have two full sleeve bamboo thickets to cover up old self-harm scars, but her criticism caused the self-hatred to come roaring back. Now it's a struggle to not fall back into those habits and damage that admittedly expensive artwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 217

Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 629

You deserved it 4 467