The Top

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You wouldn't get it

By FourMoreBeers - 22/08/2022 14:00

Today, my now-former friend explained in extreme hyperbole that the only reason Russia invaded Ukraine is because Zelensky is a zionist agent meant to make Putin and Trump look bad. He stopped taking my calls after I asked him to explain this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 169

Get well soon

By BigAssSwagBear - 17/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I was told I have a tumor in my brain and require surgery. This all came about due to having a MRI for my migraines and then finding it. The kicker? They're positive the tumor isn’t playing any role in the migraines. I'm now struggling to cope and pass grad school exams with this weight in me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 98

Listening in

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while having a romantic dinner at home with my date, my Alexa randomly asked, “Would you like to reorder adult diapers?” She then followed up with, “You last ordered them two months ago.” I don't have kids. I don't have grandparents. I don't have an explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 124

Pissed

By Anonymous - 23/06/2021 04:01

Today, I discovered that my cat will not use a litter box if it has a lid. How did I discover this? The two weeks of crystallized cat pee coating the floor under my 19th century grand piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 352

Let's get it on

By Anonymous - 27/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother-in-law berated me for not being pregnant yet, so I yelled at her that since she guilted us into letting her move into our house, she never goes out, our bedrooms share a wall, and she has the hearing of a bat, none of which helps me or my husband have any sexy time. It’s been 4 months FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 217

Falling down

By Anonymous - 28/06/2021 00:01

Today, I was doing laundry. I went to go grab a couple of detergent pods. Forgetting that I'm 5'3 and the pods are above the industrial-sized washer, I reached for them and fell backwards into a hole where the water from the washer goes. My left leg got soaked in dirt water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 228

Pay attention

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I was at a busy restaurant and, in a rush, walked into the men’s restroom instead of the women’s. I was so focused on my phone that I didn’t notice the stares, or the guy at the sink giving me the confused glare. When I finally looked up and saw the urinals, I practically sprinted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 634

Error!

By Anonymous - 29/12/2019 03:00

Today, I called my cell phone tech support to help with my Samsung device. They sent me contact info for Apple support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 270

My house, my rules

By lordoftheweird - 06/01/2024 06:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, I had to make a house rule for my extended family who live with me: No more incestuous sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 148

I'm in a hurry

By Anonymous - 20/01/2020 20:00

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 562

You deserved it 147

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 23:01 - United States - Steele

Today, after asking my family to quiet down at a restaurant, my mom told me to go outside. In 100+ degree weather. So I did, and after what seemed like an hour, my family ran out screaming because they thought I'd been kidnapped. I nearly got heatstroke to show my family that sensory overload is real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 313

Harsh and unfair

By Anonymous - 13/09/2022 12:00

Today, my soon-to-be-ex wife aborted our baby out of sheer spite after I caught her cheating with a man. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a mom, but I'm infertile. Also, I’m writing this from work because my boss wouldn’t let me have even one day to grieve, because I wasn’t the one who was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 960

You deserved it 444

Red tape

By Anonymous - 17/09/2022 14:30 - Slovenia - Destrnik

Today, I found out I can't enroll in a course I need for my degree. I don't have the right prerequisites. They weren't posted anywhere. The applications for similar courses I could've taken instead have closed last week. I lost a year and a fuckton of money because I waited for the last minute, and now I can't get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 1 578

We don't need no education

By Anonymous - 07/07/2021 11:01

Today, I received a call from a top-rated university accepting me into the program of my dreams to begin my ultimate career. Two weeks ago, I accepted a permanent, full time and legally-binding job position in my depressive hometown because the school had previously rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 146

Lockdown 4: Covid strikes back

By yuyu - 10/07/2021 08:01 - Japan

Today, here in Japan, it was announced that we are going into ANOTHER state of emergency, for the fourth time, meaning restaurants, movies, theaters, all will be closed. BUT they will still host the Olympics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 136

Adapt, overcome, improvise

By Amy - 06/03/2020 07:00

Today, I was squeezed through an overly-crowded hallway down to my psychologist's. There, I sat in an overly-crowded waiting room to see him, next to an obese woman and an insane man. I finally entered the smaller-than-a-closet room. My reason for seeing a psychologist? Claustrophobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 183

Leave a workaround in the comments!

By Anonymous - 28/07/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, I am sat in a house with a husband and three teenage boys who are all grumpy and pretending it’s not because the government just stopped them from watching porn without showing their ID first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 102

Sigma grindset

By Anonymous - 30/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my dad tells everyone I’m still living in his house farting around on the internet. I’m a software engineer and I invest in the stock markets. I live in his house because I bought it off him when he fell behind on his own mortgage. I’ve been earning more than him since I was 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 88

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 168

Peachy keen

By Justpeachy - 11/10/2022 02:00

Today, I was working at the hospital receptionist desk. A visitor came in, but only knew the patient’s nickname “Peaches” When I explained to her we don’t address patients by nicknames, she demanded to see my supervisor. She ended up spitting in her face and had to be escorted out by security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 82

Autopilot

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 05:00 - Canada

Today, after 4 months of severe depression, I finally found an antidepressant that works. The downside? I no longer have any interest or gain pleasure in any of my hobbies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 118

All in the Family

By weedvocate - 25/03/2020 14:02

Today, my mother brought home dinner for four people. I was not one of those people. The dog, however, was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 178

Bad connection

By Anonymous - 13/10/2022 18:00

Today, and after a lot of effort to reconnect with my family after a while of limited contact, I found out from the family group text that my mom, sister, and grandmother went on a vacation without me, and I didn’t even know about it until they posted some airport selfies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 298

Burning down the house

By Anonymous - 25/07/2021 18:01 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I got some ingredients ready for a stew in the slow cooker, planning to turn it on when I left for work. Well, my dumb, un-caffeinated ass turned it on, but put it on high instead of low. For 13 hours. It was completely charcoal by the time I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 326

Mad bastards

By oof - 13/10/2022 21:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my cats decided to start sprinting back and forth across the house while I was holding a cup of coffee. They both ran into each of my legs in unison, sending me crashing down on top of them. I also hit my head on the corner of a shelf and spilled coffee all over my neck, in addition to breaking the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 199

Sinning is winning

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 18:01

Today, I came home early from work and walked in on my husband in bed with his two young female "bible study students" from his church. Now I remember why he explicitly said to never interrupt his, "Sunday School Studies" with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 128

Big Brother

By Anonymous - 14/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was accused of "spying too much" on what my coworkers are writing about Covid-19 on the news site I work for. I'm one of the supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 176

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 168

Hello, I love you

By Anonymous - 13/04/2020 05:00

Today, I had a very good-looking guy ask for my number while I was at work, but due to our policies I had to turn him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 361

Long time gone

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 18:01

Today, I haven't heard from my girlfriend for over a week, after being in a relationship for 7 years with her. She'd called me, saying she had to care for her ex-husband because he had suffered a heart attack. Guess we're over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 164

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 726

You deserved it 4 931

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Then my COVID test came back as positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 162

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 529

You deserved it 4 651

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 579

You deserved it 24 539

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 632

You deserved it 5 943

Today, after months of eating lunch with my best friend, going to Barnes and Noble, and having to poop while I was there, I realized I've trained myself to have to poop every single time I step into a Barnes and Noble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 889

You deserved it 2 065