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By Anonymous - 07/08/2019 22:00

Today, after I'd remembered to start writing a list of my PTSD symptoms for my shrink, because I'm extremely forgetful, it finally took me three days to remember to write down forgetfulness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 243

I'm too old for this

By anon - 08/06/2022 22:00

Today, my parents lectured me about how my girlfriend will ruin my life, because she's a single mom, a recovering alcoholic, and has chronic health issues. Apparently, I should be with their friend's rude, trashy daughter, who can't keep a job, and goes on a drunken, drug-fueled bender every other week. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 187

Seize the means of production

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 10:00

Today, despite my ability to generate the company around £300,000 a year, I'm paid roughly £28,000 and yet I just discovered the new hire, who still hasn’t finished her training, has been given a starting salary of £35,000, which will rise to £40,000 after her training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 142

Another betrayal

By Anonymous - 14/03/2025 07:00 - United States - Niles

Today, I found out that my fiance has been cheating on me. We have an 8 month-old baby together. I've been trying to help him get sober again and have done my best to be a great partner, but apparently some other girl is more important than the family he was creating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 139

American Psycho

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 16:00

Today, I visited my son at work and found his secretary in the foetal position under her desk, crying. According to my son, she does that sometimes when he yells at her for making basic mistakes. My god, I’ve raised a high-powered corporate monster. Fuck that poor girl's life and also, FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 1 237

God laughs

By Flipper_87 - 29/06/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend, who I’ve been madly in love with for 18 months, left me for some guy she met two weeks ago. I was planning to propose to her next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 146

Read the room

By Anonymous - 04/07/2022 22:00

Today, my longtime coworker confessed that she's always been in love with me, and now that I'm finally single again she wants to start a relationship. The reason I'm "finally single again" is because my wife (who I had been with for 27 years) died last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 161

You deserved it 106

Giga barf

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 06:00

Today, some woman, sick with god knows what, didn’t vomit into the bin next to my car, or even just onto the floor, she lurched over to my car and vomited through my open window onto my shirt and legs, and down into the footwell. I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 102

Yellow

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 11:01

Today, a friend of mine has stopped brushing his teeth, because, "animals don’t brush their teeth either." You know what else animals don’t do? Smoke a pack of Marlboros a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 98

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 141

Lonely

By GinaD - 02/05/2021 11:01

Today, my friend got an engagement ring. She’s been with her boyfriend for 2 years and it started as a one-night stand. Whenever I have one-night stands, the only thing I get is left on "read". FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 744

I'm in this FML and I don't like it

By stupid as fuck - 24/10/2023 12:00

Today, and everyday, I'm so dumb that if there is no sign, I can’t tell if a door is pull or push. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 316

Pumped-up Tanks

By DogStew - 15/09/2019 20:00

Today, at work I had to spend 2 hours cleaning up stinky toilet water. Why? Because yesterday, I forgot to turn on the septic tank pumps. The tank overflowed, and so did all the toilets. My boss is not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 1 897

Royalty

By princess - 21/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 1 536

Did I teach you NOTHING?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 00:00

Today, I ordered pizza for dinner and left cash by the door so my son could pay for it, in case it arrived before I got home. I told him they should get all the money, but I just found the tip. Apparently he thought I'd miscounted. I'm a server. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 193

Wardrobe malfunction

By Anonymous - 24/04/2025 06:00 - United States - Tarpon Springs

Today, I tripped and fell, and didn’t realize my tank top strap broke. I walked around with my boob out for a solid 3 minutes in PUBLIC until my friend ran up behind me and yanked my tank top back up. He found it funny, and apparently everyone else got a great view. Talk about embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 379

Booty-full

By Enya - 26/07/2022 12:00

Today, the guy from college my sister set me up with told me I'm too nice to continue lying to. Turns out he's one of my sister's booty calls and she bribed him to go on a date with me so I'd stop being so miserable and depressing. Apparently he didn't want to take me out, so the bribe was she'd let him do butt stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 166

The worst excuse

By Anonymous - 29/04/2025 00:00 - South Africa

Today, after my boyfriend broke things off saying he couldn't handle being in a relationship after the death of his brother, I found out that he's back on Tinder not even three weeks after the break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 117

Fall of Man

By Anonymous - 25/07/2022 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my husband moved out while I was out of town. The only thing of his he left behind was a copy of Paradise Lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 146

Stop! Hammertime!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2022 00:00

Today, my husband picked up and threw a hammer which smashed a hole in the plastic side of the conservatory, that daylight and rain can now get through, all because he “thought” he saw a mouse, which turned out to be one of my fluffy slippers half hidden under a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 154

You might as well know…

By Anonymous - 02/08/2022 06:00

Today, I was sending screenshots to my best friend about a guy who'd screwed me over. I sent the screenshots to him instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 950

My body hates me

By Justin - 20/05/2021 22:01

Today, I pulled a muscle by doing absolutely nothing and now I can’t bend over without excruciating pain. I’m 15 and exercise regularly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 140

Excuses, excuses

By skj - 29/05/2021 11:01

Today, I asked my mom why the lamp in the living room wasn’t working. She immediately plugged it in, it worked, and she called me a complete idiot. I haven’t slept in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 1 060

I don't owe you anything

By Anonymous - 24/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me for sex and when I said no, he asked me to leave. When I demanded to know why, he told me I had reached his limit: if I denied him sex for longer than 6 weeks in a row then clearly I’m not interested in an adult relationship, and need to get the hell out. Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 407

Nepotism rules

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 11:01 - United States - Manchester

Today, I got notice that I didn't get the new position I applied for at work. After two interviews, pay negotiation and paperwork, as well as years of giving this place all my time, I found out my boss gave it to his friend's daughter, who has no experience or credentials needed for the position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 105

Wakey wakey

By Thanks, Mom - 26/11/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I wasn't sure if I would have to go to work. My mom told me the night before that she would wake me up if I had to. I woke up, and seeing that it was past the time I normally go to work, I happily assumed I got called off. That is, until I got a phone call from my boss asking me why I wasn't there yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 701

Chewed up and spat out

By Anonymous - 26/05/2025 21:00

Today, I retired after 38 years. I went in expecting a proper goodbye, tears, and handshakes. I got none of that; they had me work like normal, then escorted me out after my shift because legally they had to make sure I’d definitely left the building. Not even a retirement card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 96

We hear it was a great show!

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 14:00

Today, I was supposed to be going to Edinburgh to see my favourite band live. I was expecting to be picked up at 8 a.m. for the drive there, but I woke up to a text saying my friend bought tickets for the wrong city. The show he paid was for 2 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 150

Creepy kid

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 22:00

Today, I took my boys over to their grandmother’s house. We had a nice supper together. We all talked, played board games, and watched TV. After a while, I couldn’t find my 13 year-old son. He was in his 67 year-old grandmother’s master bathroom, jerking off with her dirty granny panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 218

Pica?

By Anonymous - 21/06/2021 17:59

Today, my mom ate some flowers without knowing if they were safe. Turns out they are slightly poisonous and she had an upset stomach, but she will be fine. Her excuse? "I didn't know it had poison." I had to explain that's exactly why you don't eat plants you don't know are poisonous or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 104

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The Top

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 105

You deserved it 5 503

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 313

You deserved it 5 237

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 160

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 004

You deserved it 16 377

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 852

You deserved it 8 066

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 589

You deserved it 4 899