The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Very unhealthy

By Anonymous - 08/06/2023 15:00

Today, a coworker asked me out and we’ve been on a few dates. I had no idea why she’d want to date me, until after we had sex and she started crying and confessed she was molested as a teen, and since her attacker was short and gross like me, she wanted to use me to work out her repressed issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 179

Good job

By An. - 11/01/2021 15:01 - United States - Denver

Today, after a really bad day, I just wanted to order DoorDash. When my food came, I saw my burger had tomatoes in it, despite requesting no tomatoes. I’m deathly allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 145

I'm a realist

By abbiexo97 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I had a dream that I had to abandon my shopping at the checkout due to lack of funds. Even in my dreams I don’t have any money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 251

Thanks, great feedback everyone!

By Anonymous - 27/01/2021 23:01

Today, after years of not meeting my partner's family, along with the new arrival of our daughter, we decided to travel to meet them all and introduce our bundle of joy. Instead of the usual welcoming committee, all they could go on about was whether or not my daughter was his because of how fair toned she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 150

Consolation prize

By my fault for asking - 27/11/2024 06:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I asked my girlfriend of six months to be honest and tell me why she didn't give me a chance at first, two years ago when I first asked her out. I guess I shouldn't have asked, because her response was, "At first I wasn't digging you that hard, but the guys I liked didn't have your personality." FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 496

By Grant Williams - 07/05/2019 17:37

Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 824

What the actual…?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2023 22:00

Today, my friend bit me. The first time I said "Ow!" and pushed her away. The third time really hurt, and I got mad and said, "Don't fucking bite me!" and walked away angrily. She chased after me and told me I couldn't be mad at her, then got mad when I wouldn't talk to her. She didn't say sorry once and it started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 130

Sorority

By New mom - 01/12/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I am five days postpartum and my sister came over to see me. After she refused to help me with dishes or do the laundry or grab dinner, I angrily asked why she even came. She replied, "Uh… to meet the baby? You're not entitled to my help, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 746

Roll with it

By Anonymous - 02/07/2023 05:00 - United States - Ballwin

Today, my new girlfriend and I finally did the deed. I also realized today that I have a strange kink. An outie belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 284

The past is the past

By Boudoir Babes Hubby - 04/07/2023 06:00

Today, I’ve met the last of my wife’s ex-boyfriends. She’s been out of touch with all of them since we met, but after seeing their shared looks, I'm convinced they all have naked pictures of her. How recent they are is the only remaining question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 816

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 15/07/2023 00:02

Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 879

Name names

By James - 30/03/2022 04:00

Today, and every time I try my hand at content creating, I get 0 appreciation or recognition, beyond bigger content creators stealing my work and ideas as their own, and seeing them get the many 10s of thousands of views I could have gotten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 284

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 07:00 - Canada - Moncton

Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 880

Freakout

By nofunforme - 25/06/2019 12:00 - United States - Candler

Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 472

Casual something

By lukey101 - 14/02/2021 18:30 - Australia

Today, I went to the Asian Grocery. I politely smiled, bellowed, “Hello!” and kind of waved to the cashier as I walked in, to which he gave me a blank, scared-for-his-life kinda look. Turns out he was actually just another customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 442

By workworkwork - 27/05/2017 20:00

Today, my boss asked me to pick up more waitressing shifts because we are short-staffed. I already work seven days a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 767

You deserved it 262

What are you most angry about?

By Anonymous - 27/02/2021 14:01

Today, my husband got fired from his government-mandated "volunteer" work due to a sexual harassment complaint he filed. He's morbidly obese and still gets more attention in the years we've been together than my whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 24/06/2019 22:04

Today, I just got back from a party, where I spent most of the night comforting the girl I like. Why? Because the guy she likes was being grinded on by another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 477

What?

By Anonymous - 09/05/2022 17:59

Today, I asked my son to repeat something he had said. He got right up in my face and screamed that it was time I got a "fucking hearing aid." His siblings agreed with him. My husband agreed so much, he won’t even punish him for yelling and swearing, because, “Honestly, we all wanted to scream it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 1 244

Food for thought

By Anonymous - 10/08/2023 16:00

Today, in order to not upset my boss's autistic son who believes he is a chef, I had to choke down food that was both burnt and undercooked in the middle, contained way too much salt, and no other seasonings at all. I’m a real chef and I could feel my taste buds dying after eating that slop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 214

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 06:00

Today, my cat still loves my boyfriend more than me. I spent around 6 months convincing my boyfriend to get a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 439

Welcome to the rest of your life

By no ohhhh - 14/05/2022 02:01

Today, I finally had sex after 3 long years. It lasted less than a minute, followed by 2 hours of talking about anime.. I'm in my 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 475

Give me strength

By Anonymous - 31/05/2022 10:00

Today, my son got back from his solo holiday in Hawaii. I asked him what he did. Apparently, he sat in his suite for 2 weeks, watching shit on his laptop. He spent thousands of pounds, flew thousands of miles to one of the nicest islands in the world, all to stay in his room. He could have done that here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 195

By lk07 - 12/07/2019 16:00

Today, when I bent down to get something off a low shelf at the grocery store, I felt my shorts split wide open at the butt. All my husband did was make jokes about "that's not how you do the splits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 250

Pure concentration

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend bought Elden Ring and hasn’t listened to me once all day. At one point I got his attention by waving my bare boobs at him to remind him it’s his turn to cook. Unfortunately he didn’t listen to me then either, because, you know, my boobs were out and his ears shut down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 519

Noise annoys

By boom boom boom - 06/06/2022 01:00 - United States

Today, my neighbor got a ridiculous surround sound system that sounds like Jurassic fucking Park come to life. My walls are literally shaking. I tried asking nicely for them to turn it down. They told me to fuck off, and that if I call the cops with a noise complaint, well… they know where I live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 97

Not now

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 18:01 - United States - Morganville

Today, my son took his very first steps. Unfortunately, it was during my sister's wedding. She had a full-blown bridezilla meltdown over how he "stole her spotlight". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 175

The little known stages of grief

By Anonymous - 12/06/2022 22:00

Today, for some reason my girlfriend wanted to have sex in the bathroom at a family funeral. I’m sure that’s a sin, I mean… we definitely did it, so sorry Nana, but now I feel all wrong about it and I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 1 625

The people of TikTok must be stopped

By Phil The Man - 04/09/2023 05:00

Today, I was sitting on the couch watching TV when I felt something crack on my head. My 6 year-old son had just smashed an egg into my hair. When I asked why, he said, "Mom does it for TikTok." This is how I found out that my wife has been "pranking" him for likes, and thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 128

By ahhhhhhh - 30/07/2019 14:00

Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 637

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 049

You deserved it 4 373

Today, it's been 9 months since my home was damaged by a neighbour's gas explosion. The council said it would take a month to repair. I'm still living on my boyfriend's mother's sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 330

You deserved it 189

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 665

You deserved it 7 807

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 261

You deserved it 3 870

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 892

You deserved it 10 537

Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 077

You deserved it 64 888