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Happy Birthday, I guess…

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 14:00

Today, my family decided it'd be a great idea to berate me for not being excited enough for my brother and his wife's baby news. They told us on my birthday, adding that if I wasn't so fat I'd have one too. I have insulin-resistant PCOS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 421

You deserved it 122

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 102

You deserved it 500

By Anonymous - 24/08/2019 18:00

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a really stubborn pimple. By the time I felt the cartilage rip, it was too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 1 130

Can't be arsed

By Anonymous - 31/03/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband turned down a six figure job offer because he thinks it will be too difficult to learn to speak German. German is my native language, he already speaks some German from being married to me for 16 years, but somehow becoming fully fluent isn’t worth 6 figures to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 116

Maybe it's by accident?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 21:30

Today, I've been binge-watching a certain Twitch/YouTube streamer. I love his political insights, but I've noticed he keeps saying, "On accident." It grinds my gears so much, I had to go outside and listen to birds chirping instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 586

By snoooore - 31/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I discovered I have narcolepsy. During a driving test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 677

You deserved it 143

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By Anonymous - 29/04/2021 16:59

Today, I'm on the verge of losing my job because of my poor mental health. I've been on a wait list for therapy/psych services for over a year already. My boss's response was, "It can't be that bad, just stop thinking about it." I have PTSD, OCD, BPD, ADHD, bipolar depression and anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 305

Get tested, people

By Bhrugu - 30/04/2021 04:00 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I found out that people in the apartment to the left, in the one to the right and in the one above mine all tested positive for Covid, a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 137

Caught up

By Abandonedgirl101 - 07/05/2021 11:01

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend was terminated from work: for having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a coworker, and not because he was "furloughed from COVID" like he said was. Oh, and he got her pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 823

You deserved it 145

I hate to break it to you…

By Sam - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to the doctor to get my swollen lymph nodes checked. As it turns out, they aren't swollen. I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 419

You deserved it 1 198

Legit

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 04:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I tried convincing my friend that his casual long-distance girlfriend, who won't meet him and never video/voice chats, is in all probability a guy catfishing him. He refuses to listen to me because her Facebook profile looks "legit". She only has one profile picture and her friends list is full of bots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 139

Treat Yourself Day

By Anonymous - 12/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I sent my wife to a 5 hour spa day. She's now upset because she had to wait to get a pedicure, and the house wasn’t clean when she got home. We have a toddler and I was playing with her, running errands, and cooking us a family dinner. She's a stay at home mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 157

Switching off

By IantoJones_fml - 24/07/2022 02:00

Today, our eleven year-old Chihuahua died in his sleep. Yesterday, the vet sent him home with us, saying he had mild congestion, and should be fine in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 85

Bipartisan?

By jeweltonedsanity - 28/07/2022 06:00

Today, my boyfriend left me. He said he can’t be with someone who agrees with their parents politically. My parents are liberals, and I happen to have done my own independent research, and still agree with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 350

Today, on Maury…

By twitch - 07/10/2019 18:00

Today, I found out I'm pregnant after 14 years of being told I'll likely never have kids. My fiancé has a 7 year-old child with a woman who used it to stop him from leaving her. Yesterday, she filed a false report/restraining order to keep him from his kid, because he refused to leave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 902

You deserved it 198

Leech

By Anonymous - 04/06/2021 06:01

Today, my mother-in-law constantly threatens to commit suicide, unless my husband pays her bills. He told me I don’t care about his happiness because I told him he can’t keep giving in to her guilt trips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 120

All things must pass

By Female Quasimodo - 30/11/2023 00:00

Today, I realized that everytime I get close to a guy, they either straight up friendzone me, or they string me along the talking stage until they find someone else. The holidays are coming up. This will be yet another year spending it alone without that special someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 194

The tedium of everyday life

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 11:00 - United States - Banning

Today, after seven years of marriage to a guy almost four years younger then me, he looks and acts like an old fart. He would rather watch TV than have intimacy with me. He can't even last longer than two minutes when we have sex, which ends up always leaving me frustrated and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 148

Cursed lake

By TabbyCat87 - 18/10/2019 16:00

Today, our boat broke down in the middle of a lake at sunset. We called our friend for help, and his truck and trailer got stuck in mud at the boat ramp. We called the sheriff's office to tow his vehicle out of the mud. The tow strap broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 159

A few moments later…

By Anonymous - 10/08/2022 20:00 - Canada - Garson

Today, I saw my first FML I published on Facebook. Everyone was bashing me, thinking that I was the problem and the cause for my ex-boyfriend wanting to do his own thing. I used to sit in his room being ignored for days straight while he gamed. Not once did I bitch about his gaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 357

Gordon Ramsey is furious

By sunitgir - 21/10/2019 06:00

Today, my mother decided to cook dinner for us and used rice that she had in her cupboard. While helping out, I stirred the dish and noticed black flecks. Turns out they were rice weevils. She tried to convince me it was "burnt garlic" and served it to the rest of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 842

You deserved it 156

Blue Christmas

By Anonymous - 11/12/2023 21:00 - Canada - Sidney

Today, and as of late, I have been struggling with the fact my child passed away. I guess that's considered weak, well according to the child's father it is, which is news to me. I thought it was a pretty normal reaction, but I guess not. Merry Christmas to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 131

Fight!

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 06:00

Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 255

Broke boy

By Anonymous - 24/12/2023 13:00 - United States

Today, I watched my country's president yet again talk about how, thanks to "his economy", we're all doing better than ever. I watched from my childhood bedroom, because in the last year, inflation has gotten so bad that I can't afford even the cheapest apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 303

Depression?

By ToxicSelf - 27/06/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, I have a good job which pays 7 figures. A loving husband who adores me. Two cute kids who are way too smart. I'm also in great health. But I sulked all day and felt depressed because I got wet in the rain for 10 minutes while cycling the 11 km to my office. What's wrong with me? It's just rain but I'm crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 598

Official notice

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 08:01

Today, my daughter wrote a statement refusing to have to look after her brother in the event me and my husband die, then had it made into a legal document by a notary. I love my boy, but he's dumb as a rock and will probably be a lifelong burden to us, so I don’t even blame her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 293

Relaxed

By Sorry, Doc - 10/09/2022 01:30

Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 230

Shaving!

By John Doe - 07/01/2020 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 096

You deserved it 476

Tricky

By Anonymous - 18/09/2022 03:00

Today, I'm so sexually frustrated that I started to fantasize about men other than my husband. The problem is I'm my recently disabled husband's carer, and the man I'm fantasizing about is the one who his ex-wife cheated on him with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 1 353

I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

By DontSniffMyHair - 07/07/2021 06:01

Today, while sitting on the bus the man sitting slightly above and behind me leaned over my seat. All I heard was someone deeply inhaling in to my hair. I turned around and slapped him. Everyone saw what he did, but no one defended me while I was being thrown off the bus for assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 284

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The Top

Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 923

You deserved it 8 006

Today, my date was making remarks about “stupid illegals” and “immigrants are everything wrong with this country” because our waiter barely spoke English and apparently got his order wrong. When I reminded him I’m an immigrant, he said, “But you speak English and you’re legal, so you don’t count.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 279

Today, despite feeling healthier than ever, losing fat, gaining muscle and having perfect blood results, my morbidly obese relatives keep telling me that my new vegan diet is "unhealthy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 813

You deserved it 1 474

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 173

You deserved it 4 897

Today, I saw a text from my mom asking, “Are you still with that girl from last year? I miss her.” She was talking about my ex. The girl I’m dating now saw the message before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 97

Today, I found out my parents are getting divorced. They're fighting over the dog instead of my sister and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 939

You deserved it 3 943