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By dank meme - 11/02/2017 17:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I learned that my neighbor of 9 years has a kid. I learned this after I knocked down his snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 363

You deserved it 4 084

Life imitates art

By PinchMe - 29/04/2023 03:00

Today, my wedding day was ruined by my fiancé’s psychotic ex. It started out with the venue and my dress getting pelted by paintballs and one of her friends riding an ATV around, running over my fiancé. He's currently in the hospital with broken ribs and a concussion. $42,000 down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 133

Hellworld

By hannahnator - 02/12/2020 07:04 - United States - Racine

Today, it's the first day of our 2-week quarantine. Today, my 3 year-old also discovered Blippi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 192

Think before you speak

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 14:00

Today, I learned I'm one of the biggest contributors to my sister's severe body issues and eating disorder. Apparently, my constantly making jokes about her having a giant butt wasn't just harmless teasing after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 2 399

Cuties

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 02:02

Today, I shaved my penis and balls. When my girlfriend saw, she said, "You look like my little brother." He's 6 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 476

Give us a hand

By Anonymous - 16/02/2022 04:00

Today, I'm solely responsible for my kids, entirely, while my husband goes to the gym, his office, goes running, and plays with his buddies. He wanted kids; I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 413

Unreasonable

By ImConfused - 29/05/2023 00:02

Today, my husband demanded I delete all my male friends/contacts except family members. All this because I texted one of my male friends, “Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good one.” According to him, “One thing leads to another then next thing you know you both are in bed fucking like rabbits.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 307

Helicopter parents

By sunny_funny - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, I'm on a residential trip for 4 days with 72 children, 5 other staff, and 72 sets of parents who want to be on the phone to me constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 118

You deserved it 562

Ahoy there!

By sanza666 - 26/04/2019 00:00

Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 901

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 16/04/2017 08:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I overheard my parents arguing over who had to tell me that I'm adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 432

You deserved it 344

Mixtapes are my love language

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, at college, the weird guy who stares at me every day came over, said, "I've made you a mixtape," then handed me an old, empty Queen's Greatest Hits CD case and scuttled off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 022

You deserved it 273

That's… sexy

By Anonymous - 03/02/2021 01:01 - Mexico - Iztacalco

Today, my wife threw up in the middle of sex, then fell asleep right after. I didn't even finish and it'd been over a month since the last time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 335

By GamingWolfy5 - 27/06/2019 06:36

Today, I got angry at my computer, and instead of bashing my keyboard with my fists, I bashed my face on the keyboard. It REALLY hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 2 951

Unreasonable

By Anonymous - 17/02/2021 20:01

Today, I had to choose between being in excruciating pain and having a happy significant other by doing housework, or resting my sprained ankle and having my significant other pissed off at me because she thinks I’m milking it. She went to bed two hours ago and I can barely move it. Guess which I chose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 218

By Anonymous - 10/06/2019 00:01

Today, I was friendzoned by my boyfriend due to the fact that we never fight. Apparently, if there's no fighting, there's no passion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 962

You deserved it 200

Same

By Anonymous - 08/04/2022 16:00

Today, and like most days, I spend my day pretending to be happy just so other people won’t suspect anything, then as soon as I get home I just collapse on the sofa miserable, and eventually fall asleep only to wake up the next day to do it all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 222

Infectious laugh

By Anonymous - 23/02/2021 00:30

Today, I'd always been scared of meeting someone from Tinder, so I was really reassured when my first Tinder date went really well. I kept seeing the guy. He then gave me herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 460

By Anonymous - 30/06/2019 14:05

Today, my mom called me to tell me she'd got in touch with my ex for his birthday, and that the two of them had made a plan for us to get back together. My new boyfriend was in the process of proposing to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 237

You deserved it 154

Keep quiet

By PoorAndabroke - 28/05/2022 22:00

Today, I learned that you shouldn’t announce on social media that you’re leaving on vacation for a week. Your house might get broken into, and all your electronics will be missing. They were kind enough to leave a note saying, “If you can afford a vacation, you can afford to replace all this shit. Have fun!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 1 448

By machina - 16/07/2019 04:01

Today, I approached my mother for comfort, because I've been feeling depressed and unloved by anyone lately. She replied, “Honestly, I stopped loving you back when you were a toddler.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 275

You deserved it 162

Ultimatum

By Moving out tomorrow smh - 11/02/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend an ultimatum: me, the girl who’s been there through thick and thin for the past 2 years, supported him through his unemployment and death of his father, and who cooks and cleans for him every day, or the girl coworker who he’s been emotionally cheating on me with. Guess who he chose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 213

Barfed out

By superbubbles - 23/03/2021 21:30 - Canada

Today, I threw up in bio when we dissected cow hearts. Guess that rules out my childhood passion as a possible career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 149

Crazy stalker vibes

By Why her and not me though - 08/09/2023 06:00

Today, I saw the guy I was seeing four months ago, who lives in another state, hand in hand with a girl at the mall. The same one who told me he "doesn’t do long distance." I went up to them, confronted him about it, and demanded to know why her and not me. He pretended not to know me and threatened to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 968

By Bianka05 - 19/07/2017 20:00

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 014

You deserved it 978

Nepotism

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 10:00

Today, my son is failing his college classes because he thinks he’s going to inherit the family business. It's a garden centre owned by my older sister; I'm just an employee, it will be inherited by my niece. My son actually thought only eldest sons inherited family property. God I raised an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 375

WHPJ

By PattyJ - 17/06/2022 12:00

Today, I found out some of my colleagues made a Teams group named “WHPJ” Which stands for “We Hate (My first initial) (My last initial)." They post candid photos of me that were taken without my consent, and make jokes about me. These people pretend to be nice to me at work everyday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 142

They're out to get me

By Anonymous - 14/09/2023 16:00

Today, the last 8 spiders found in the house have all been in my bedroom. Not the kitchen, or my sister's room, or our parents' room, or front room, laundry, or garage. Always in my room. I’m the only one in the house scared of spiders. The bastards are haunting me, trying to scare me to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 148

Beep Beep Who's Got the Keys to the Jeep

By Loser - 12/08/2017 03:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I lost my keys while at the supermarket. I franticly back-tracked through the store, asking everyone I saw along the way. They eventually showed up, right where I left them... in my unattended car, the engine still running. There was an announcement made over the PA system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 3 422

By Anonymous - 11/08/2015 04:39

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 088

You deserved it 6 443

The pervs win again

By Thanks for nothing, assholes. - 08/07/2022 01:59

Today, we received the answer to a report we filed against a calculus teacher from our high school, who was sexually harassing several girls from our group, most of them still underage. They won't sack him because he's a tenure teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 132

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was working construction and tried lifting something I knew was too heavy. My back seized up, and I had to lie down on a pile of plywood while my coworkers stood around pretending not to laugh. The foreman filled out the incident report and titled it “ego-related.” I had to read it before signing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 501

Today, my brother and I took an hour long train home. I'd got up early, so I dozed a little bit in the train. I woke up to people looking at me at me. Thinking I slayed my outfit or something, my brother sent me a 5 minute video of me snoring so damn loud with my ugly mouth hanging open, and other passengers laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 139

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 649

You deserved it 2 708

Today, I was so desperate to pee that I used the only bathroom in the convenience store I was in, which was “Employees Only.” Well, the door got stuck and I had to get an employee to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 335

Today, after 5 and a half years, my boyfriend had spent months talking about proposing before the end of the year. He'd picked out a ring, told all his friends, and couldn't stop talking about our future. He then dumped me over the phone out of the blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 105

Today, I was detained by a stubborn cop who swore he saw me sprinting away after shoplifting. I’m missing part of my right foot, and walk with a cane and a limp, I haven’t sprinted anyplace in 12 years. Not even showing him my foot convinced him. I was sat in his car over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 102