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Haha this got published. So I turn around and the 8 people I work with started to clap. They said I have a good voice as well. I think they were most interested because I am usually pretty reserved and quiet. They invited me out to karaoke this weekend lol! And I was singing Johnny Cash songs btw. My voice is fairly deep so I think I can do his amazing songs justice.

By StinkFoot - 28/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 860

You deserved it 380

By The Sbeak - 13/02/2009 15:54 - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557 912

You deserved it 45 638

Fisticuffs

By Anonymous - 16/01/2022 14:01

Today, I got proof that martial arts don’t really work, I’ve supposedly worked my way up to my black belt, and I challenged my brother to a match. He floored me with one punch before I could do anything, and he only weight lifts to keep in shape, he’s never done martial arts in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 1 389

Crisis management

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 10:00

Today, my boyfriend thinks he’s having a sexuality crisis because I convinced him to let me stick a finger up his rear-end and he orgasmed so hard that now he’s worried he might be gay without knowing it. I love him, but God he’s hard work sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 134

You deserved it 594

By CJ 84 - 19/01/2019 14:00

Today, I stopped and helped a young lady stuck on the side of the road. Guess who got accused of forcing myself and got charged with impersonating a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 563

You deserved it 283

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 277

Freuding intensifies

By toomanypills - 26/03/2022 17:00 - United States - Easton

Today, I'm in 12th grade and came home from school to find out my mother had someone over to have sex while I was at school. She's not had sex my whole life, so the uncomfortable feeling it gave me is different than anything I've felt before. She's been single by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 1 563

By mighthavepaidfortwodates - 28/03/2019 22:00

Today, after an amazing date with a girl I like at a restaurant, I realized I foolishly forgot my wallet. When I returned, I spotted my date at another table on a date with a different guy. I also wasn’t able to find my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 173

You deserved it 347

The fertility dance worked

By UnexpectedMom - 31/12/2020 02:01

Today, I'm currently 9 months pregnant with my second child within 3 years. I was told by 4 different doctors over the course of the past 5 years that I'm incapable of having kids, due to a medical condition that affects my reproductive system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 376

By innocent - 19/04/2017 00:00

Today my best friend called me at 6 a.m., ranting and accusing me of sleeping with her husband. I live two hours away and haven't seen him in person in over six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 484

You deserved it 347

Dodged some bullshit

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 14:00

Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 190

What's the time, please?

By ThreeHoursEarly - 24/01/2020 01:00

Today, I was told to be present for a meeting that started at 5pm. I arrived 15 minutes early, and I was late for the meeting. This happens regularly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 112

You deserved it 287

My ears! My ears!

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 05:15

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 932

You deserved it 256

By themysteriousfox - 01/06/2017 12:35 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I went drinking with my boyfriend and his sister in England. I'm from the US and they live here in the UK. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't get drunk and lock me out of the house, in a foreign country at 2 a.m., where my phone doesn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 390

You deserved it 404

themysteriousfox tells us more.

themysteriousfox 18

Wednesday 31 May 2017 17:39

OP here.. What happened was it was a family party and my boyfriend got so insanely drunk me, him, and his sister decided to walk home. His sister decided to wander off in the opposite direction and he kept walking towards his house prompting me to stop in the middle and shout at him to wait so I could get his younger sister. Then he got mad and told me to go away and locked me out. He couldn't even remember anything that happened the next day apologized profusely. I managed to get inside because his aunt found me standing outside getting ready to climb the fence into their driveway and knock on the door and brought me back to her house. I should have probably had a backup if something like this were to happen but live and learn I guess. I'm only 19 so as far as experiences go I'm still a beginner. Other than that my visits been great at least!

By "Nancy Marlin" - 16/07/2017 13:00

Today, I had to call the hotel we were staying at to recover some items I had left. Those items consist of a cellphone, razor blades, used batteries, and a vibrator. They have nothing to do with each other, but yes, they're at the front desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 673

You deserved it 1 407