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By Anonymous - 24/07/2017 07:00 - United States - Warren

Today, while having a bad dream, I went to punch a bully in the face. Mid-swing I wake up and punch the solid concrete wall to my basement bedroom FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 294

You deserved it 655

By BobE - 31/07/2019 06:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I went to a mall and got some really awesome shoes. I went home to find out that they are actually women's shoes. I'm a dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 905

By mixedupminx - 06/02/2017 15:06 - Netherlands - Wageningen

Today, I found out why my thesis supervisor made me change my whole project I was working on for the past 3 months. Apparently, he had another student doing the same thing and they published it today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 470

You deserved it 759

mixedupminx tells us more.

mixedupminx 8

Monday 6 February 2017 1:18

Op here, it turned out that this other guy was working on it before me (under the same supervisor..) so he rightfully published it. in the end I kind of resumed his thesis and continued best I could. It sucked, but I really want to graduate!

By scottyboy - 01/10/2016 07:58

Today, I started packing up the flat I have been renting. As I took a picture off the wall I also ripped half the wallpaper. That's my deposit gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 650

You deserved it 1 677

Oh no…

By Tomato - 11/08/2017 14:30

Today, I went with the kids I work with to a roller rink, where there are tons of black lights. Under the glow, I realized in horror that an old semen stain could be seen on my shorts. Praying no one saw, or realized what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 708

You deserved it 3 604

By NewMom - 16/08/2017 20:00

Today, there was a baby shower for our first child. My hostess invited 75 people. Only 3 people showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 542

You deserved it 478

By swervelol - 20/08/2017 23:15

Today, the mosquito infestation is so bad that multiple mosquitoes sucked the blood out of the steak I was grilling and promptly died on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 452

You deserved it 360

Six weeks for nowt

By Dezzmond68 - 15/09/2016 20:26 - Canada - Aylmer

Today, I got in trouble at work because the person whom I trained, and had done everything correctly with no mistakes, and said he was comfortable being on his own when I asked, was screwing it all up over the course of 6 weeks. When I asked him, he said, "I think my way is better than yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 009

You deserved it 897

By Sudokori - 07/09/2017 01:30

Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 272

By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 310

You deserved it 366

Stranger Danger!

By tried to help - 07/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 549

You deserved it 669

Well that's embarrassing...

By "Stella5127" - 29/11/2017 16:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our first apartment together by having a bloodcurdling, hot, screaming lovemaking session. Once we were done, we lay happily in each other's arms when we heard the neighbour say, no louder than a whisper, "They're done just in time for for the news." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 386

You deserved it 2 991

By Scottie Too Hottie - 27/06/2016 22:49 - United States - Pontiac

Today, I waved money at a passing ice cream truck and it kept going. So apparently I can't even get a date with a Sno Cone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 147

You deserved it 1 074

By ExtendedVacation - 23/02/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I submitted a vacation request to my manager and it was approved. I came back from lunch and was informed that I have been let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 947

You deserved it 2 465

By sucks2suck - 19/02/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, as I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldn't fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 249

You deserved it 2 691

Great boyfriend

By Anonymous - 03/05/2020 23:00

Today, I'm 37 years-old and recently out of a job. As my boyfriend refuses to pay more than half the rent as long as I live here, I have no choice but to move back in with my mom, 8 hours away. My boyfriend is quite happy to pay the entire rent as soon as I'm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 332

You deserved it 670

By Kitten - 06/09/2018 03:30

Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 413

You deserved it 174

By tripleBBB - 09/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 716

You deserved it 2 652

By SensitiveTech - 26/11/2018 12:00

Today, I was loving on a dog at work. I noticed her fur was coarse and short and I'd never felt anything like it before. I broke out in hives all over my face. This happens whenever I'm around any cats, guinea pigs, or rabbits and now some dogs apparently. I'm in school to be a vet tech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 704

You deserved it 495

Freakout

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my roommate to chip in for electricity costs. She called me a bitch, proceeded to tell me she can't afford it, despite working full time and me part time, and blocked me on all communications. Uhm, what ? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 638

You deserved it 451

By AwkwardMoments - 26/01/2017 14:00

Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 995

You deserved it 716

By Jobdubai - 28/03/2013 02:41 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, it was my last day working at my company. The whole staff was summoned to a meeting, but I didn't see the point of going, so I left discreetly. I “discreetly” missed the surprise party that my colleagues had organized for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 954

By Anonymous - 30/03/2017 20:00

Today, I finally told the girl I'm in love with how I've felt ever since we first met six years ago. She let me know that not only does she not feel the same way, she's always considered me a creep and only ever hung out with me because of our mutual friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 621

You deserved it 1 018

By Baby Bethy - 25/12/2016 04:00 - United States

Today, I went to bed at noon after having driven 11 hours from Washington to Maine. I missed my flight due to a delayed plane, and was told there were no open flights the next 2 days. I'd been driving my $200 rental car for 1.5 hrs when the airport told me, over the phone, that there was in fact a flight available. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 776

You deserved it 587

Tis the season to be…

By HelloItsMee123 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I had routine surgery and should have been discharged on the same day. Now due to an avoidable mistake the surgeon made I'll be staying in hospital over Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 873

You deserved it 503

By Creeped Out - 29/05/2017 18:00

Today, I went to the grocery store. As I was checking out, I went to grab the same item that the cashier was reaching for. He brushed my hand. He then both watched me creepily and asked my what lotion I used to make my hands so soft. When I left, he said, "I'll dream of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 194

You deserved it 409

By LifeLikeLemons - 14/11/2016 23:51 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got rear-ended trying to move off the road because I heard a police siren. It was the radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 472

You deserved it 2 512

By onye - 11/07/2017 01:53

Today, someone called wanting to talk to my son. My 6-week-old baby is receiving more phone calls than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 712

You deserved it 473

onyinye tells us more.

onyinye 4

Monday 10 July 2017 20:31

Hi, OP here. Someone called and went like "Can I talk to Mr. N****, please?". At first I thought he meant my husband, but it turned out to be my son. I said "Well, I don't think you can talk to him, he is just six weeks old. So you might want to talk to me instead". Turns out he was the assistant of the specialist I had made an appointment with because of an issue with my son's spine (something went wrong during the delivery). He was cancelling/rescheduling appointments, because his boss was sick, and hadn't checked the patient's birth date before calling (they treat both kids and adults). He was very embarrassed, but I just thought it was hilarious.

By KeptMyHandsUp - 17/08/2017 17:15 - United States

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. She warned me they were a little weird. Right when we walked in the door, her parents were there to greet us...in the nude. Apparently this constitutes as a LITTLE weird. They both hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 195

You deserved it 355