The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By littlekellilee - 05/11/2018 03:00

Today, I reached out to an old friend to ask how his battle with cancer is going. He responded by asking for boob pics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 732

You deserved it 379

By Crypticbeerbelly - 11/01/2017 14:44

Today, I was reading a recipe list on my tablet. I moved a little, and one of my fat rolls came into contact with a button which closed the tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 261

You deserved it 3 799

By Anonymous - 16/12/2018 03:00

Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 639

You deserved it 204

By Crabby - 30/03/2017 17:00 - United Kingdom - Clitheroe

Spicy

Today, I had to face up to telling the cute guy I just split up with that I have also probably given him pubic lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 425

You deserved it 6 329

Nice mental image

By Anonymous - 09/08/2016 00:04

Spicy

Today, my 12-year-old sister, who sometimes has difficulty coming up with the right words while speaking, used the word "intercourse" to replace "encounter". She was joking to my dad that she, "had an 'intercourse' with Bob Dylan." I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 989

You deserved it 1 349

By Jihnyq - 24/10/2017 08:00 - Ecuador - Quito

Today, I went on a blind date with a girl. I was trying to be funny and joked, "I've never been on a blind date because I was afraid my date would be blind." She started crying because she's visually impaired and had just built up the courage to start dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 412

You deserved it 4 722

By Not his SunShine anymore - 10/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Manchester

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 744

You deserved it 1 078

By Damn - 12/01/2018 00:30 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today I found out that my 21-year-old son has been using my face razor on his balls and butthole since he was 13. The best part is that he doesn't actually clean it when he's done; he just wipes the hair off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 030

You deserved it 466

By Grad Student - 13/01/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that I have to take a weekly workshop outside of class time all semester, and it's only offered on the day I have the most work hours. I barely make ends meet as it is, but the professor said to figure it out or fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 875

You deserved it 332

Deep-seated resentment

By Boyufd - 14/05/2020 17:00

Today, I found out why my dad doesn't want my girlfriend coming to our house anymore. Apparently, her dad used to bully him a lot during high school and he's never gotten over it. He's threatened to disown me if she comes back over here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 775

You deserved it 285

By kaleighf - 28/04/2016 01:46 - United States - Hollywood

Today, a new girl showed up at my school and everyone really seems to be intrigued about her. I've been told at least five times today that she is the hotter version of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 123

You deserved it 1 189

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 120

You deserved it 2 452

By DontGive2Fox - 05/03/2019 04:00

Today, I had my first job interview and didn’t have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn’t speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 269

You deserved it 1 684

By UnpredictableSurface - 17/03/2017 22:00

Today, a tattoo artist send me home without tattoo because the acne on my back has gotten so bad, he refused to work on such an 'unpredictable surface'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 636

You deserved it 1 253

By Anonyme - 03/11/2012 02:24 - Japan - Takatsuki

Today, I live in Japan. I discovered that the toothpaste with the terrible taste that I’d been using for a month, and on which it says “Whitening” in non-Japanese characters, was in fact a skin whitening cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 202

By nabulio - 24/03/2012 11:16 - Argentina - Federal

Today, I introduced a charming American girl to the local gastronomy. She said the wine was good but tingled slightly. It was Whisky-Cola. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 71

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 02:00

Spicy

Today, my son walked in on me masturbating. Now, whenever I don't do whatever he wants, he blackmails me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 325

You deserved it 2 198

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 21:08 - United States - Woodridge

Today, a woman at the retirement home I work at told me she was new and asked me a few questions. I asked her when she moved in. She was a new coworker, not a new resident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 761

You deserved it 12 935

Go vegan!

By Anonymous - 30/09/2023 20:00

Today, my sister is furious with me and said i will never see my nieces again. Last weekend, while I babysat for her, I taught them the meaning of veganism and animal rights, even showing them a few videos about the meat and dairy industry, and how the animals are kept and treated. Now she won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 3 737

By MissMoonpie - 27/08/2016 12:21 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, I found out my father's girlfriend is moving in with us. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 850

You deserved it 968

MissMoonpie tells us more.

MissMoonpie 15

Monday 29 August 2016 13:28

OP here. To clear some things up, my dad and mum divorced like 9 years ago. The fact that he has a girlfriend doesn't bother me at all. It is more the fact that I know this trough my brother that bothers me. I'm at my dorm for a month because I have to take exams (in Belgium it is normal to spend the weekends at home and the weekdays in your dorm, but now I am at my dorm for a month), so I haven't seen my father for quite some time. When I found out she is going to move in with us was a complete shock for me. I don't know her, nor does she now me, and my father hadn't even told me about her. He called me (after I called my grandma because I was very upset) and said not to worry. If she's moving in, it will be for November. By that time I will have met her (hopefully).

Shattered

By Nolo - 24/11/2023 02:30

Today, the love of my life, who I’ve finally been able to date after so long, broke up with me. I met her parents for the first time and they don’t approve of me dating her due to our age gap. She’s 18 and I’m 36. Apparently they don’t understand that she’s a consenting adult and can make her own choices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 2 514

Running gag

By needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 405

You deserved it 342

Sounds reasonable

By jenn8209 - 15/09/2022 01:30

Spicy

Today, it’s my honeymoon. Before sexy time, my new husband made me do my first “act of loyalty” to him: text all my male contacts who were not family to “never speak to me again” and delete then from social media and cellphone. Apparently, I “can’t be hoeing” around during marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 759

You deserved it 649

Clumsy nitwit

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 01:30

Today, while dropping files off at my boss's house, I tripped and fell into his fish tank. We both watched as a crack spread all the way across the glass and shattered, covering his carpet in fish and water. His only words to me were, "I'll see you at work tomorrow. Maybe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 467

You deserved it 633

By idontunderstand - 07/05/2018 19:00

Today, my father has been unemployed for 8 of my parents' 25 years of marriage, and my mom still supports him. I've been unemployed for three months and my mom is kicking me out. The difference is, I'm actually applying places. He just plays video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 779

You deserved it 326

Saboteur!

By Juancames3 - 23/05/2018 01:30

Today, after spending all night packing for my 5am flight to Brazil, my cat peed all over my open suitcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 718

You deserved it 725

By MissAnonymous93 - 14/05/2016 15:32 - South Africa

Today, I got my tonsils removed. My body also agreed that today was a good day to get a bad cough. My bed currently looks like a scene out of "Dexter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 392

You deserved it 762

Hint of Lyme

By Ticknexttodick - 03/07/2018 05:00 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, I felt frisky and went down on my boyfriend, only to come face to face with a tick that had buried itself in his inner thigh. Killed the mood a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 981

You deserved it 371

By XanderFierce - 29/06/2018 09:30 - Australia - Camperdown

Today, my favourite vibrator got a good thrashing. Unfortunately, it was by my cat, who tore it to shreds. I guess she disapproves of my choice of leisure activities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 478

You deserved it 753

Bastard.

By canadianwife08 - 01/08/2018 08:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I found a conversation between my husband and some girl arranging a one-time thing while I'm away visiting my family in a few weeks. It's our wedding anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 907

You deserved it 265

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, my friend said that his dad told him we couldn't hang out anymore, he thinks I'm a bad influence because I don't have all 90's in my classes. The only reason he knows I have below a 90 is because he's my geography teacher. I have an 87. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 532

You deserved it 1 495

Today, I purchased some blueberries from the store, since I usually hog all the fruit my family buys. My dad saw my blueberries and declared I'll be buying all my own food from now on. I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 180

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 968

You deserved it 2 951

Today, I have been married for nearly 16 years. I've not had sex in over three years. My wife spends all hours chatting and gaming online with friends, and when she finally crashes into bed, she just goes to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 226

Today, after my wife’s father made a very weird joke the other day, and it completely bothered me and caused my anxiety to skyrocket, I asked her about it. She told me not to worry and that it’s just a joke. I’ve always suspected he views his daughter, my wife, sexually. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 125

Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3 a.m., screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 919

You deserved it 5 583