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By Random - 25/02/2016 22:09 - United States - Tuskegee

Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 280

You deserved it 4 529

By Dead Inside - 03/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Elkhart

Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 984

You deserved it 413

By Anonymous - 14/03/2017 10:06

Today, I found out my roommate is literally crazy. I talked to his sister for an hour on the phone, she told me I should move out as soon as possible and to make sure I take everything I brought, because he's a thief and a liar. She was amazed I had stayed as long as I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 432

You deserved it 744

jasonrellet tells us more.

jasonrellet 22

Tuesday 14 March 2017 4:15

So I know he was wacko but what I didn't know was that he was confirmed Insane by a psychiatrist. She knew and told me a lot about him, when I told him I was moving out at the end of that month he threatened to kick me out and dump my stuff in the street, he also kept my entire deposit. I later found out that the money I payed him to rent the room was used to go to bars and buy his beer. After that month the electricity and gas and water would have been shut off.

By Anonymous - 15/06/2017 21:00 - Italy

Today, I found out that when my 7 year old daughter invites her friends to eat dinner with us, she charges them 3 euros for the meal and puts it in her piggy bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 511

You deserved it 573

Throbbing

By 2in longer - 01/11/2016 12:57 - United States - Coldwater

Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 007

You deserved it 1 174

Family snapshot

By Anonymous - 25/10/2016 05:06

Today, our family reunion began with my sister calling my brother's current crazy girlfriend by his last crazy girlfriend's name and ended with my dad telling my adopted niece that he wanted a family picture without her in it, but she could be in the next one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 341

You deserved it 817

Strike one

By sad but true. - 15/04/2014 23:18 - United States - Storrs Mansfield

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cellphone, which I had left behind in a lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years-old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 401

You deserved it 13 068

By GyroUpgraded - 20/07/2016 23:03 - United States - Portland

Today, after driving to three drug testing clinics that were approved for my job, each one declined me, saying they don't do testing anymore. Now I have to drive another 25 miles to see if someone will say, "You're clean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 892

You deserved it 943

By hannamacintosh - 28/06/2016 17:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I knew my relationship was basically over when my boyfriend invited me over, and I was more excited about seeing his dog than seeing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 743

You deserved it 1 605

Tunnel vision

By what. - 04/05/2020 17:00

Today, my boyfriend said that no, I'm not allowed to get glasses and then accused me of wanting to see other men. No, I just want to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 204

By boopingsnoot - 08/08/2018 18:54

Today, I was entertaining my 12-year-old cousin in the yard when two of my cats chased down and killed a baby bunny right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 567

boopingsnoot tells us more.

boopingsnoot 24

Saturday 4 August 2018 18:34

So, the second half of the story: Cousin got the bunny away from the cats before it was completely dead, and when I couldn’t fix her “new pet” she wanted to sit and watch it die. And take it to another relative’s house and bury it in *their* yard. Took a while to convince her to leave it in a “safe place” (bushes where my cats like to hang out, so they could finish the job). Hey, saves me money on cat food.

By yacoob - 24/01/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, I figured out that my baby-powder container can be closed by twisting the cap. I just got back from a long trip. My suitcase used to be black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 634

You deserved it 25 261

By Anonymous - 18/02/2017 06:00 - Australia - Frankston

Today, after a recent move into my new apartment, I woke up early to study for an upcoming exam. I hadn't left my bed yet or made a sound, when my neighbor texted me and asked why I was awake. No one in the building has my phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 408

You deserved it 517

By nomade319 - 16/05/2013 02:57 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, at Toronto airport, the customs officer checked my passport, then called his colleagues to confirm whether my country, Madagascar, really existed or not. Then, he took a picture of himself with me so he could show his kids that people actually live in their favorite cartoon’s country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 60

It's just like Black Mirror!

By faglypoog - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my $200 drone malfunctioned and wouldn't stop. For fifteen minutes I followed it on my bike until it finally disappeared. On the way back I was pulled over for not wearing a helmet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 440

You deserved it 2 114

By ItWasOurAnniversary - 28/09/2016 12:08 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 435

You deserved it 2 507

By Highschoolisover! - 26/10/2017 01:30

Today, a good friend refuses to speak to me because she found out that I slept with her husband. It happened twelve years before they met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 661

You deserved it 741

By Phonessed - 09/11/2017 08:00 - Australia - Balwyn

Today, I was strolling along a sidewalk when I noticed that my shoelace was untied. As I knelt down to tie it, my brand new $1,000 phone fell out of my pocket and into a storm sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 095

You deserved it 2 948

Denied

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 00:01 - United States - Austin

Today, an Air Force recruiter called me. I've been wanting to join the Air Force for 5 years now. After chatting on the phone with him for 10 minutes, I mentioned to him that I had asthma. He quickly told me I can't join any of the military branches, and to have a good day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 857

You deserved it 501

By fuckmeintheeyewitharing - 03/07/2016 12:52 - United States - La Mesa

Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 824

You deserved it 1 402

By abbyleigh08 - 17/02/2009 07:01 - United States

Today, I told my mom I want to try out for American Idol. She responded with, "You don't take disappointment well." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 359

You deserved it 30 866

By EKG - 11/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, after being in the hospital for two days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 753

You deserved it 2 598

Take a hike

By Anonymous - 01/05/2016 17:19 - United States

Today, I went on a camping trip. I already had a bad back, and then the guy in charge took us on a hike. My shoes were too small, and now I'm hobbling around with a bad back and foot. Every time I limp, it hurts my back, but if I walk normally, it hurts my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 401

You deserved it 5 352

By janie - 30/01/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, I was sexiled so that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 699

You deserved it 2 451

DOA

By Nasu Johi - 06/09/2018 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, as a CNA, I had to go through the belongings of a patient. His phone rang and I answered - it was his boss. As I explained, he cut me off and said to "drop the act" and "he better be there now or he's fired". He was pronounced dead-on-arrival. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 701

You deserved it 201

Ouch

By Jackmeister - 03/11/2018 03:00

Today, I jacked off in the shower using soap with scrubbing beads in it. My penis is so chaffed, it hurts to put on pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 7 409

By Anonymous - 05/12/2018 08:00 - United States - Wauseon

Today, a police officer stopped me and told me he got an anonymous tip that I was going to kill myself. I wasnt. Protocol says he had to bring me straight to a hospital where I explained that someone was messing with me. nobody listened. Now I have a hospital bill for $2,250. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 740

You deserved it 175

By shutup shutup shutup don't wanna hear it - 08/11/2016 00:43 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, my roommate told me that she was studying in the library. Turns out, she didn't feel like going to the library and just spent all afternoon studying in a friend's room because she didn't think I was capable of shutting up for long enough to get any work done. Our other friends agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 381

You deserved it 4 685

By poor_college_kid - 15/09/2016 12:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I found out that I owe my college a little over $10,000. Why? Because, due to a slight misspelling of my name, the scholarship that I have been going insane trying to meet the requirements for is not actually giving me any funding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 716

You deserved it 886

By TheHarvardian - 04/09/2016 05:34 - United States - Boonville

Today, my boss told me that our old manager didn't do my promotion paperwork, so everyone in the department is getting a chance to interview for a job I've been doing for a month. They also expect me to keep doing it at my normal pay rate until they hire someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 073

You deserved it 844

TheHarvardian tells us more.

TheHarvardian 25

Monday 5 September 2016 23:22

Hey guys. I'm the OP. So for everyone saying that I should report this to HR, I would like to, but I can't report it at the local level, since our local HR rep was in the meeting with the manager that announced that he was reopening the interviews. I would imagine that there is someone that I can go to above them, but I am not 100% sure who it is and no one is being particularly forthcoming with information. For the people who think that we should all revolt, as far as I understand, my coworker does want us to go in together on a lawsuit, so that's kind of close.