By anonymous - 26/05/2016 03:45 - United States - Boise
The Top
By gettinganF - 23/05/2016 11:57 - United States - Severn
By Ashley Rocha - 11/09/2018 20:30
By Erasmus - 27/10/2008 03:27 - France
A+ for Effort
By Anonymous - 14/02/2017 22:40 - United States - Monroe
By ihatepizza - 21/12/2016 22:49 - United States - Aurora
By Anonymous - 28/11/2016 06:34
By no thanks - 24/04/2018 00:54
Raemel tells us more.
By Anonymous - 07/11/2016 20:13
By JEHR - 07/10/2016 07:21 - Canada - Prince George
JEHR tells us more.
OP here to answer some of your burning questions. Really, FML for all involved, but the crown goes to the dog. He isn’t butthurt about it anymore. I watched for blood and any signs of pain in his next stool because I know what sharp, jabby appendages toddler fingers are and it was like any other shit. He also received boiled chicken breast to alleviate the emotional trauma and a lot of praise for his stand-up response to the whole shit show. To clarify a few others and add some detail: 1. No one got bit. I’ve got a hell of a bombproof dog and he and the kid are tight. He did leap like a gazelle though. Fair to say he was surprised. 2. Wet wipes are a parent’s best friend. Too bad I only had spit and a Kleenex. 3. The amateur veterinarian’s diagnosis was ‘stinky.’ And he wasn’t very happy about it. 4. I don’t know if some people are aware but toddlers tend to throw high emotion, physically aggressive tantrums because they are developmentally limited in their ability to appreciate consequences, exercise restraint, and use non-physical methods to express themselves, especially when upset. It’s normal, he’s two, that’s what they do. 5. This was his first anal offense although he’s previously expressed interest in the brown hole that he’s not allowed to touch ever since he came to be eye level with it. He really had no appreciation of what he was doing and how it would affect the dog. 6. But yes, he did receive ‘discipline’ in the form of a calm, firm reprimand for acting in violence and, when he calmed down enough, a limited discussion of appropriate behaviour and a teachable moment where he came to understand that he had hurt our dog. Little guy was upset by it and apologetic. It went way better than anticipated. 7. People who think children suck for reasons such as this undervalue the insane mileage I’m going to get out of this one for years to come. 8. He’s a really awesome kid with a good heart, but human (surprise). I’m actually pretty sad Trip didn’t add anything but #14 gave me a laugh. I also don't know what he's going to be a 'social path' quite means, but I'm alright if he turns out extroverted.
By Anonymous - 24/07/2016 03:18 - United States
By decenthumanbeing - 14/07/2016 13:13
By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 23:48 - United States
By Monkeyspank - 26/01/2017 22:00
By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00
Not cut out for this
By Anonymous - 18/12/2016 02:10
Creeped out
By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle
By funfettifirework - 18/08/2016 05:08 - Philippines - Quezon City
Entrapment
By Anonymous - 04/11/2017 05:00
By hellolaina - 22/07/2016 07:43 - United States - Blacklick
hellolaina tells us more.
OP here. This happened a few years ago. She's like 28 and has loose wires in her brain. I ended up quitting that job. Not because of her. I haven't seen her since.
Ready for anything
By too eager - 25/04/2016 15:21 - Australia - Hurstville
By lifeis4me - 24/09/2018 22:38
lifeis4me tells us more.
OP here. Yeah, I understand that facial expression is part of being a performer. My problem was that she never said anything to me before (no warning). Also, there’s a bunch of my peers don’t sing at all or they’re just playing/laughing, yet they have A’s
Squeaker of the house
By Anonymous - 26/02/2016 21:12 - United States - Lebanon
Mutilated knob
By JWags - 04/12/2018 05:00
By Anonymous - 24/02/2017 12:00 - United States
By Itchy - 28/02/2017 18:00
By Anonymous - 10/03/2017 08:00 - United States - Voorheesville
By cacheson - 15/04/2017 19:45
cacheson tells us more.
Ok, followup: cat is fine. She had to stay at the hospital overnight with IV fluids to flush out her system. Also, anyone who understands how picky cats are about what they eat would be surprised that a cat would even consider chocolate food... including the emergency vet, who had never seen a case of a cat eating chocolate in her entire 15 years, simply because cats are not supposed to be dumb enough to try eating it. She had also left said bowl of chocolates (which was up on a high shelf) alone for about three months already, so I had no reason to think she would go after it. Needless to say, I now keep all food items out of reach and sight, regardless of what they are. Since the incident, some of her favorite foods I have discovered (that I mostly try desperately to keep her from eating): tomatoes, peanuts, ice cream, raw sugar snap peas (and other veggies), hair, cardboard, string, rubber bands, and cat litter. The best part? After all that, she doesn't believe that kitty treat tuna flakes are food. Too much like paper...?
By neverdatingagain - 27/11/2016 22:07 - United States - Lake Oswego
Superficial
By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 04:00 - Australia - Brisbane
Keywords
OP here. While I definitely wouldn't have accepted, as it might make things weird for my student (who is only 11 btw for whoever thought I should ask her if her parents are together), he is definitely still married, as I asked him. According to him, they are separated, which I'm sure is not fun, but I live in a small town and I'm sure I would be fired were I to date a married person. I explained that to him and he suggested going on a date out of town to "protect" me and all the red flags went up. Next parent teacher conferences are probably going to be a little weird.