Sex, Awkward Intimacy Yummy

Yummy

lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

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No kinkshaming, but come on…

esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML

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FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

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Say yes

fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

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Wandering

kmyltd - 14/09/2016 06:18 - Australia - Mount Eliza

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML

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The Conquest of Bread

Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

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Anonymous - 08/08/2011 14:29 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

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Groucho

beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

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Username - 12/03/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

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scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

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empbob 20

Thursday 27 February 2014 0:08

I'm sorry, it sucks that your boyfriends penis is small enough to fit thru a donut...

evanobrien 14

Thursday 27 February 2014 0:06

What kind of donut?????

Jaded88 3

Sunday 2 March 2014 4:21

Take the doughnut off and shove it in his mouth

baseballboy1427 2

Sunday 2 March 2014 6:08

You should have said "Is this a fat joke?"

jdlanam87 9

Sunday 2 March 2014 21:49

Sorry my first thought was to picture the size of a donut hole. Then wonder what kind of donut and picture a regular donut and my apologies to you.

lemonturps 5

Monday 3 March 2014 0:21

did it have jam in

NineeCat 32

Tuesday 4 March 2014 19:21

At least it wasn't a cheerio!!

xintensityx 2

Tuesday 4 March 2014 20:41

I would've eaten it off. Just saying... Unless you don't like donuts or your bf?

Comoke1024 19

Tuesday 4 March 2014 21:54

Someone likes Aziz Ansari!

Devul143 12

Wednesday 5 March 2014 9:56

So did you do it?

darkfireflame 15

Friday 7 March 2014 13:15

Today I realized my penis is really small after I fit it through a doughnut and tried to make my girlfriend eat the doughnut. FML.

nichtkatze 1

Friday 14 March 2014 0:41

my girlfriend would murder me if i tried this unfortunately shes not all about my fat girl fantasies

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, during a work meeting, my boss leaned over to me and whispered, "I suggest we fuck". FML

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Today, I had to come to terms with the truth that I'm absolutely terrible at parallel parking. After three failed attempts, I finally gave up and parked in a spot labeled "No Parking" just to make it stop. Of course, a car pulled in right behind me and blocked me in. FML

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Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

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Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

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Today, as a college student on a budget, I treated myself to a haircut. The stylist asked if I liked it, even though it was much shorter than I wanted, and I said yes. When I got home, my roommate asked if I had joined the military. My mom asked if I was OK. I'm wearing hats for the foreseeable future. FML

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Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML

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