Dogs, Gross Animals Yucky! - FML

Yucky!

theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

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Anonymous - 08/02/2017 04:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

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Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

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Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

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ticked - 06/10/2009 13:01 - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

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g'day cunt - 26/08/2012 18:27 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

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FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

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Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

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bitten - 15/05/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

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phillyfan4life - 21/02/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

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Handful

Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

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midjigirl 13

Tuesday 7 June 2016 14:11

Why would you ever do that and how did you not see the tick first?

ctosc 21

Tuesday 7 June 2016 14:15

you totally deserved this

midjigirl 13

Tuesday 7 June 2016 14:11

Why would you ever do that and how did you not see the tick first?

ctosc 21

Tuesday 7 June 2016 14:15

you totally deserved this

ayyy_bro 26

Tuesday 7 June 2016 17:18

Why the hell would you nibble on a dog's ear...?

UnicornLife 5

Tuesday 7 June 2016 23:39

This made me throw up in my mouth

AutisticPat 10

Monday 23 December 2019 3:19

OP...you went to the doctor, right? Ticks carry diseases!

Iamthebanzai22 21

Monday 23 December 2019 6:09

Oh dear God.... hurls. Who does that4?

Mungolikecandy 19

Monday 23 December 2019 7:14

Who nibbles on their dogs ears?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Monday 23 December 2019 9:22

Don't be trying to eat your dog. Also, get checked for Lyme Disease.

Duc du V. 23

Monday 23 December 2019 17:11

That's a kind of a "hot dog" that ended as a "blood sausage"... YDI !

Neminess 10

Tuesday 24 December 2019 0:53

Maybe check your dog more often for ticks? You deserved the blood in your mouth. How could you not see the tick? And also, why are you nibbling on her ear?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after my grandad died suddenly last week, we were cleaning out his house and found a full on sex dungeon, with pictures of him and nana going back 50 years. My siblings are all chicken shits, so I have to deal with that room by myself. Rubber gloves and a therapist required please. FML

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Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML

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Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

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Today, my boyfriend started avoiding going down on me ever since he found an ingrowing hair down there. The only reason I have an ingrowing hair is because he didn’t like my pubes, and stopped having sex with me at all until I shaved it off, thus causing the ingrowing hair. FML

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Today, I ran into some friends from high school who had just gotten back from college. We were talking about what happened during our sophomore year. When it was my turn to tell them what I had been doing, all I could say was, "Well, I started wearing V-neck t-shirts and they're pretty comfortable." FML

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Today, a kid threw a rock at a beehive while my friend and I where standing next to it. It fell down, and a swarm of slightly displeased bees assumed that we were the culprit. Knowing what was about to happen, my friend and I ran for our lives. He ran fast enough to escape; I didn't. The kid, the actual culprit, didn't get attacked. FML

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