Love, Weird, Awkward Babies You haven't changed

You haven't changed

Anonymous - 15/04/2022 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I talked to my ex from Uni for the first time in 10 years. I told her my wife and I just had a baby, and her immediate response was, "I WAS A BABY ONCE!" What the hell did I see in her? FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Fool me once…

Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML

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Thanks for the memories

thankspal - 24/06/2012 10:57 - United States

Today, while shopping, I bumped into a guy I knew in high school. He went on about he heard I'd got married, looked like I'd had a baby, and that, "she looks just like you!" The kid was my niece, and my husband broke up with me 2 years ago. Thanks for bringing that up. FML

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both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

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Policy of truth

Home Alone 33 - 24/02/2022 14:00

Today, after two months of being apart from my wife of five years, who'd returned to Panama to deal with a family issue, she innocently slips into conversation that she’s been hanging out with her high school boyfriend. When challenged, she responded, “You get to see me all the time!” FML

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Oh, hai Mark

Jenn - 03/07/2013 02:39 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

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She definitely heard

Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

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All mine

Happy NOT Father's Day to me? - 17/06/2025 15:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, I met my ex, whom I have not seen in years, in the airport. She was with a 3 year-old girl who ran to me with open arms, happily saying, "Papa!" Overjoyed, I picked her up, hugging her back, and kissed her. My ex then condescendingly said, "She's NOT yours!" When I asked why, she said, "She calls ALL MEN 'Papa'!" FML

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Time to leave

Anonymous - 22/08/2023 08:00

Today, my ex called me, apologetic about her mistakes, and saying she realised she wants to be with me. I eventually agreed to coffee, just to see if the old spark was still there. I ended up leaving after 0.0000005 seconds. She was 6 months pregnant with some other dude's baby. I wasted my afternoon for this shit. FML

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Betrayed - 27/08/2012 06:11 - United States

Today, I attended my college roommate's wedding. We were best friends for 4 years, but have only talked occasionally since graduation. I was looking forward to meeting her new husband, having heard so much about him during our conversations. Turns out she forgot to mention he's my ex. FML

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Kinda sus, huh?

Anonymous - 22/06/2024 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife of 8 years bumped into my ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago. Despite having never met one another and no overlap in our dating, they both knew each other, but both acted like they didn’t. My ex proceeded to have an anxiety attack, and my wife played aggressive mind games with her. FML

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Thaylok 17

Friday 15 April 2022 17:15

It sounds like she still is (a baby). Great things happen when you mature.

Bogrbon 27

Friday 15 April 2022 18:18

She was 10 years younger and hotter, and you were 10 years dumber.

Thaylok 17

Friday 15 April 2022 17:15

It sounds like she still is (a baby). Great things happen when you mature.

cuz803 44

Friday 15 April 2022 17:46

She's an ex for a reason. Almost everyone can relate.

Brightside86 30

Friday 15 April 2022 17:52

Sounds like she must have been very pretty. It's basically a super power.

Bogrbon 27

Friday 15 April 2022 18:18

She was 10 years younger and hotter, and you were 10 years dumber.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 15 April 2022 19:26

Tell her, "I know! That's why we named our baby after you!" That'll freak her out! I'm also hoping to bump into a woman I had a mild crush on in college at some reunion who has the same name as my daughter (whom I named in honor of my late grandfather). I want to tell her I named my daughter after her just to see her reaction!😂😂😂

poopface82 23

Saturday 16 April 2022 0:20

I had a friend in law school who introduced me to a woman he was seeing, and after he gave us almost no information about her, including what her name was, she introduced herself with, “Hi, I’m a nurse.” If you have one dope in your dating history, that’s normal. If all there are are dopes, you’re the dope.