"Who wants a dessert?" By Lewis - 27/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris I made a huge mistake... I agree, your life sucks 290 You deserved it 86 Share Tweet Share
Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML I agree, your life sucks 535 You deserved it 164
Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 83 513 You deserved it 7 847
Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 170 You deserved it 2 796
Today, I found out about of my ex, who I was with for 6 years, getting married. Normally I wouldn’t care, except she rejected my marriage proposal just about a year ago, saying she wanted to “be single for a while and wasn’t ready.” I can’t help but think what does the other dude have that I don’t have that made her change her mind? FML I agree, your life sucks 791 You deserved it 153
Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 466 You deserved it 2 311
Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 266 You deserved it 24 104
Today, I found out the job temp agency that got me my new job still hasn't setup my orientation from two weeks ago. When I called the actual job to speak to the supervisor, they told me they had never heard of me. I turned down two other job offers, paying slightly better, because this was my dream job getting into healthcare. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 017 You deserved it 124
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML I agree, your life sucks 64 908 You deserved it 7 924
you dessert it! :)
Soooo cute