Love Cheating Where you been?

Where you been?

Anonymous - 09/01/2021 02:02 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Tetchy

ouch.... - 22/10/2013 01:24 - United States - Duxbury

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

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tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

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missclitter - 09/04/2012 18:18 - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML

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SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

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Major romcom vibes

staciedee - - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

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Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

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Bad women's anatomy

Anonymous - 07/07/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend noticed dark lines that look like scars on my inner thighs. He confronted me about them, thinking I was cutting myself, and now wants me to see a therapist because he thinks I'm suicidal. They're stretch marks. He won't believe me. FML

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anonymous - 04/10/2017 20:51

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

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dollfacee - 09/07/2015 16:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

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Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

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Crowned Sataness 12

Saturday 9 January 2021 3:18

yeah guys that paranoid need to go. they're usually the first ones cheating and projecting on you

sarahcroy20 12

Saturday 9 January 2021 7:35

How does a bruise on your hip equal cheating? He apparently has trust issues.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 9 January 2021 2:43

It could be both at the same time. Maybe you're a ho?

Crowned Sataness 12

Saturday 9 January 2021 3:18

yeah guys that paranoid need to go. they're usually the first ones cheating and projecting on you

Yummi_913 18

Sunday 10 January 2021 20:38

True true. I see it all the time.

sarahcroy20 12

Saturday 9 January 2021 7:35

How does a bruise on your hip equal cheating? He apparently has trust issues.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML

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Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML

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Today, I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen. I saw a man working, so I went up to him to ask where I should sign in. Before I even opened my mouth, he told me that they opened at 12 and to come back then for my meal. FML

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Today, I was going to spend my weekend celebrating my first time not being sick since Labor Day. I woke up with a sinus infection instead. FML

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Today, I got home to my son holding his brother down with one foot on his chest and both hands on a pair of pliers, trying to pull out his infected tooth, looking like some sort of redneck, hillbilly comedy sketch. I half expected to hear sound effects in the background. FML

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Today, after many months of physical therapy for my broken ankle and months of going to college with crutches, my doctor suddenly noticed that my bones hadn't grown together properly. I'm going to have to have another surgery and redo my entire year in college. FML

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