When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. When he slid his penis in, he felt my NuvaRing, and with the most excitement I've ever seen a man muster, said, "Oh my god! You have your clit pierced! I can't believe I actually get to have sex with a girl who has her clit pierced!" FML I agree, your life sucks 12 890 You deserved it 1 767
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 321 You deserved it 2 830
Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 804 You deserved it 6 511
Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 896 You deserved it 3 376
Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 017 You deserved it 2 921
Today, I got an e-mail from my seminar tutor asking why I wasn't in class. I was sitting next to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 030 You deserved it 2 923
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋